


Resistance of the Opression

by MHH19



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, M/M, Romance, middle ages AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2019-10-30 09:16:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 43,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17826002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MHH19/pseuds/MHH19
Summary: Emperor Snoke has conquered many lands and brought them under his oppressing thumb. The people of those unfortunate nations live in poverty, without food and shelter, most of the time on the streets. However, the Resistance is working to bring Snoke down and restore the former Empire to bring its people back to better days when life was still worth it.Rey is part of that very Resistance and with her secret ability, the force, helps it with all her might. She, as the most valuable fighter, is chosen for a special mission. In the course of destroying the obsolete structures of society, Rey finds that things are not always what they seem to be.





	1. The mission

The white moon cast the city of Takodana in an eerily glow, making the green of the grass look grey and the wood of the tree trunks black. It looked like a picture from a vile nightmare, conjured up by a mind plagued with sorrows and trouble. The long shadows of every building stretched far into the cobblestone streets, twisting, splitting and in the end fading away until they were indistinguishable from the gloom of its surroundings.

At night the city always seemed like a fantasy, something that you only see in a dream, it had a certain appeal to it. A certain romantic aspect. That, at least, was what Rey assumed some might see when the cast their gaze upon the city. Maybe someone who lived their lives in one of those big marble houses opposed to the wooden sheds or even the streets. Somebody who had warm fire cracking in the fireplace, somebody who could afford real food on a regular basis and didn’t have to settle for left-overs that had been thrown out because they had gone bad. No, these people had the luxury of fresh food, of clear water and warm clothes. The were able to sit down before their fires in the evenings and open one of those books and read and learn and understand.

Watching the members of the citywatch walk by, their black armour rattling in the silent night, Rey knew that she did not have those privileges.

She gazed at the pointed spears bobbing up and down and wondered how much blood they had seen in their life. How many times did the servants of the castle have to wash the dark dripping liquid away? How many buckets of water tainted red had the thrown into the gardens and had watched the redness vanish into the earthy ground? She wondered how many had died because of those weapons. Did those guards ever think about what they were doing? Didn’t they ever look at the faces of the people and wonder… was it really right? What they were doing, that was?

Rey remembered all of the people she had killed, as small as the number was and all of them more or less in self-defence. They haunted her, really, but it had been necessary. Kill or be killed. _They are all ruthless, they won’t hesitate._ That’s what Poe had told her, it was what she was clinging onto in the lonely nights in which sleep wouldn’t come.

At least she wouldn’t have this problem tonight. She was on a mission.

The guards had passed, the metallic noises growing softer until it vanished completely, swallowed by the night. The roads were empty again. She was free to go.

Through the high walls of the poorly constructed buildings that littered the district of the poor, she could catch a glimpse of the high towers of the main castle. They looked like dark needles pointing into the sky, looming over all of them. She gazed upon the tiny windows, barely visible from this distance. All of the royals, how they called themselves, were asleep. Not aware that there were people up and about, plotting their doom.

Not that Rey was plotting per se. She was also pretty sure that Poe and the General were asleep too. So nobody was plotting really, as those two were the main "plotters", but that were technicalities.

Pressed against the stonewalls she inched along the dark street, avoiding holes in the paving. She knew the area well enough, she had grown up here after all. She was one of the many subjects of the mighty king, lord Snoke himself. She was nothing more than a street rat, she came from nothing, was nothing. That’s what she always had been told. When she stole an apple from a market and was caught by the guards, when Plutt threw her out of the orphanage at eighteen… Not that she wanted to stay. That had always been a horrible place and will always stay a horrible place. She wouldn’t have stayed even she could’ve. Even if she had to live on the streets as a consequence, stealing her way through life. But she managed. Hardly, but she did, even if she grew thinner and thinner. Life was difficult but it was life. Her life. Nothing special. She was no one.

That was until _it_ awoke inside of her. It was half a year after she had started to live on the streets, barely eating and sleeping, always exhausted. She was cuddled in a corner, trying to catch at least some rest, when a man, she didn’t know him, didn’t see him properly, sneaked up to her holding a dagger. She still remembered the pointy end, eliciting fear deep within her. He probably wanted to rob her few and meager belongings. He was most likely as desperate as she had been. Without thinking she pushed him away. It was like something deep within her had finally been released, like she had unconsciously banished it to the darkest corner of her very being. But now it was free and it was trying to get to the surface at every opportunity that presented itself. always when she was stressed, when she was scared. Also now she could sense it, always there, a steady companion.

At first she had been so afraid. She had pushed the man away without touching him, just with her mind, moving the air around him, moving _him_ , his very being. It was like a rush of Adrenalin, it went straight to her head, made her drunk on the power. At first she had been shocked, starring at the man that now lay at the opposite side of street at an odd angle, his head resting on his shoulder. Was he dead? Had she just killed him? What had exactly happened? Without thinking she had run away, hoping that no one had seen her and that this _thing_ inside her would never come out again. Had she been wrong! It was always there. Never leaving. It had saved her more times she could count and within the last years her resentment had thawed, her will had cracked giving way to her curiosity. She had started to test it, to experiment with it. Only using it sporadically, but using it. And it had worked.

Now she liked to believe that she was quite good with it. She had adapted, she had grown with the challenge. She was proud of herself.

However she still hadn’t told any of her friends. Not when she belonged for the first time. She would just be the odd one out again. They didn’t have to know. They’d be afraid of her, of her ability, of her abnormality.

With keeping _it_ to herself she was able to help the _Resistance_ so much more. So many fights had just been won because she had used her ability.

Poe was always jealous how she was able to swing her staff, how nimble she was and how good she was at fighting. What he didn’t know was that it was mainly due to her ability.

Tonight she had gotten the mission to steal a shipment of food that is due to arrive at the main gate at exactly two o’clock in the night. And she was to intercept it before it reached its destination. If this were to happen, she had to hurry up, she was behind schedule.

Her leather clad feet made gentle noises upon the pavement as she ran along the street, watching the houses get more and more run down. Until there were only literal shacks.

 After running for ten minutes straight, she finally reached the beginning of the big forest. High trees, leaves and needles littering the ground… The smell of wet wood and earth lay in the air mingled with the smell of the night, dark and frosty. She loved the woods. It was her favourite place in the world. Tonight, however, she could not get distracted by all the wonderful things, the little creatures crawling on the ground or the night birds flying above her in the desperate search of food. No, she had to focus.

Trying to settle her panting and trying to stay as quiet as possible she tiptoed along the earthy path until she reached a tree. High enough and easy to climb on. Looking around one last time she jumped up, lifting herself up with her special ability. Now, after a long time of training and a lot of failures, she was finally able to do it without any problems. The air rushed passed her as finally reached a branch high up and grabbed it without problem. Smiling she pulled herself up and came to a rest looking down upon the path.

The night was silent. Only her breathing was audible. Everything was still. Waiting and waiting. It was nearly time. Every second now.

Then she heard it. A distant sound, like rattling, drawing closer and closer with every passing second. Every muscle of her body was tense, ready to act, ready to jump. Then the cart finally came to view. She saw the man that was leading it, holding the reign and unsuspecting about what was about to happen.

And she jumped. Her body rushing with adrenalin, her blood pumping and pounding. She loved this. Doing this. Helping the Resistance, helping her friends. Putting herself in danger, finally feeling alive. It was what she could do best.

She hit the man within seconds, knocking him straight out. Without hesitation she took the reins, leading the horses away from their course. She had done it. She had been successful.

*

“REY!! I’m so proud of you!”, Finn ran to his best friend and embraced her with all his might, knocking her nearly over in the process.  
“Yes, I know” she laughed hugging him back, inhaling his comforting smell. “It wasn’t that hard…” She loved Finns hugs, they were the best. He was her best friend and they spent most of their time together. At first everybody suspected that there was something going on between the two of them. For an outsider it must have looked like that. They were so close and so familiar. That wasn’t the case, however. They weren’t together or anything. Their closeness just came from their history, a history full of anguish and trepidation. They had helped each other when they were at their lowest.  
Finn had been a solider in the big castle, working for Snoke. He had been under the command of Phasma, a tall, female solider with the attitude of an icicle and the heart of a frost bite. She had been relentless, in her training, in her discipline… in everything. Finn had been taken when he was just a child, he didn’t even remember his parents or his family. He wasn’t even sure if he _had_ had a family and if so, what had become of them. Everything he knew, was that he came from a small village in the south, hence his darker skin colour, and that his village had been raided and most likely eradicated. Only the small children had been taken back to the big city. There they had been put under the control of people like Phasma, their young minds, so naïve, had been shaped and moulded. Their brain had been filled with Propaganda, paroles and everything that belonged into the military. Finn had been training to kill since he could remember, he was trained to have no mercy and to only serve without having a mind of his own.

Finn didn’t like to talk about _that time_ , as he usually called it. It conjured up bad memories. It made him uneasy. He never did tell Rey why he decided to flee. Why he went against everything he ever learned and why he had abandoned the _First Order_. It didn’t matter in the end. What mattered was that they both met and joined forces to survive out in the streets. They had endured hunger and pain together until they had found the Resistance. For years the rumour had been going around that people were trying to resist, to rebel against the tight regime of the First Order. It was a small rumour, only whispered in dark alleys. It was like the smoke of a cigarette, barely visible but it was there. Silent but persistent.  
One night, Finn and Rey had been witnesses to an attempt of stealing a food cart by the Resistance. They had helped them, assisting them at fending off the city guard. Poe had sought them out afterwards and made the proposition of them joining. They hadn’t hesitated for long…

“Oh don’t be ridiculous. You’re one of our best, I swear, Poe is still trying to get behind your secret.” Finn laughed not noticing the forced smile that Rey plastered on her face. _It’s okay_ she told herself. _Everybody has secrets…_ She didn’t have to tell them everything. This was not the time to dwell on this again, she would have time for that afterwards. Now she wanted to enjoy the moment.

She watched the Resistance fighters unload the cart and tending to the horses. Not only had they enough food for a month but also two fresh horses and a huge cart. It was a success all around.  
All the women and men seemed tired but happy. She watched the familiar faces of the people, some were closer to her some less so but they all had the same weather-beaten face, the untidy hair and the ragged clothes. They weren’t nobles, none of them. They came from the streets, from poor living conditions and had decided to work for a better world. To fight for it if necessary.  
She was proud of every single one of them.

“I think I’m going to go to sleep” Rey said smiling, her tired limbs getting heavier and heavier with every minute.  
“Sure, I’m gonna do the same I think…” Finn stretched his arms above his head yawing. Rey smiled as she remembered that he didn’t have to stay awake. He had done it for her. Because he was her friend.  
“Come on big guy” She took his hand and together they walked away. Finns hand was rough but warm as it always was. The familiarity was comforting and while walking Rey got more tired and leaned into her friend. He pulled her tighter, smiling.

The base of the Resistance was small but it was the closest thing Rey had ever had to a home. It was upon a clearing in the woods. Hidden but not too far from the big city. There were tents littered around the ground everywhere. Some were bigger, some smaller. The smallest ones were for the soldiers for sleeping. Some were for storage and others were for meetings. In the middle of the camp was a clean spot. A circle. In the evening they often sat there around a big fire. Just having fun and enjoying the moment. Those were good times. Rey recalled them often fondly.  
Now, when she walked by, her eyelids falling shut due to exhaustion, she could only spot the smoke that was rising from the few logs of wood that had remained and were still smouldering. The air was heavy with the scent of smoke, rusty and earthy at the same time. It was making her thoughts even more sluggish. She couldn’t wait for her bed, even if it was only a spot on the ground and a barely there blanket. Even if she knew that all these so called nobles had it so much better up in the castle. Even if sometimes small bugs crawled under her cover and even if sometimes it was so cold that her hands turned blue. It all didn’t matter. Because this was it. This was what she believed in and this was what she was going to fight for. No matter what it took.

*

The morning came faster than she would have wanted it to. For the first time in ages she had slept through the remains of the night, without waking up from the shivers or from one of the nightmares that sometimes haunted her.  
The cold was creeping into her small tent, slowly reaching its tendrils under her blanket and sneaking up her whole body leaving Goosebumps in its wake. It wouldn’t be long and all the warmth would be gone, leaving her in the biting frost of the morning. She had to stand up. She could see the morning light dimly shining through the tent sheets. They were of a dark green colour, a disguise. That’s what Poe had said as an explanation when he had handed her the tent. So their little camp wouldn’t be too obvious for bypassers.  

Yawing she stretched her stiff limbs, waking her muscles up. A new day had begun and she was ready for what it would bring with it. Closing her eyes she let her mind wonder. It was little something she had picked up over the years of living with _it._ It helped her, grounded her, made her senses sharper, superior to everyone else’s. She felt her consciousness leave her body, only _she_ remained. She was alone in a dark world. Or not so alone… There were _things_ everywhere. They were like light, like warmth, like life itself. It wove itself through everything that _was_ , everything that _existed_! It was everywhere. It was warm and cold at the same time. It was freedom, it was prison, it was light, it was dark. It was a _balance._ She could see everything. She saw her friends. She saw Finn, or his _signature_ and he was standing next to Poe. Leia was also close by. She sensed the woods around her, the plants, the animals, the air, the earth… It was intoxicating, it was power. But it was also not hers. She knew that. Had felt it from the first time she had used _it._ She wasn’t its master. Luck or maybe it was destiny, the will of the universe, had put her in the position of having this unnatural ability. That and only that was the reason that she had this skill, this power. She could sense it in others. Some were more sensitive to it, their hearts glowed with it, it run in their blood. She could see it. Finn was only a dim light. He was nearly completely immune to it. Poe was a bit brighter. She was sure that this was the reason why he was so agile, even if he didn’t know it. _It_ was the reason why he could jump higher, why he could move faster than all the others. But he couldn’t _use_ it. Not intentionally. He didn’t feel it, wasn’t as one with it as Rey was.

It was different with her. She could see herself. She was a bright sun, glowing with it. She didn’t only _have_ it. No, she _was_ it and it was her.

Breathing in one last time, felling it rushing through her veins and her body, she opened her eyes and focused on the dark green walls of her little tent. Her senses returned to her, she closed herself off to the world of… whatever it was. She dimmed her light.

The air was cold and frosty, it smelled of snow, trees and cold earth. She could practically taste it on her tongue.

Breathing steadily she sat up slowly, her blanket shifting to expose her upper body only dressed in a beige shirt. It was hard dressing yourself in that little tent, so Rey usually slept with her day-to-day clothes, only removing her jacket, so she put her dark grey cowl and her arm wraps on. With that she exited her tent welcoming the cold of the morning. She breathed in deeply, enjoying the burn of the frosty air in her lungs and looked around her. Most people were already up and about. She saw some familiar faces, some even smiled at her or waved. By now they knew her. After all, she had been with the Resistance for years.

“I heard what you did yesterday.” Rey turned to her right and smiled at the young man, barely out of his boy-years. He must have been two years her junior, but had seen his fair share of the world, of the atrocities that people were able to commit. Still he always managed to stay positive and always had a smile plastered on his face, honest and carefree. His blond shaggy hair seemed unwashed, as all of their hair did, his skin was brown due to sun exposure and his eyes were light, illuminated by the harsh morning sun. They looked like soft moss on the forest ground.  
“It’s not that big a deal” Rey answered looking past him still smiling and watching the other Resistance fighters.  
“Well, most would disagree, you conquered that food cart alone and without problems!” His tone was gleeful with a note of playfulness. “You are a miracle, really Rey, so many in the camp look up to you…”  
“They shouldn’t, really…” Rey turned around, cutting their conversation off. She wasn’t the type to socialize. She was a loner, she didn’t like to confide in other people. Except Finn. She told him everything, nearly everything. Some things are best kept a secret.

Strolling through the rows of tent she searched the clearing for her friends. Namely Finn and Poe. Then again Poe was friends with everyone. He was just that kind of guy, shiny like the sun with his dark, curly hair and his brilliant smile. Everybody liked him, was captivated by his warm aura and his welcoming manner. He was one of the recruiters for the Resistance. For obvious reasons. After all, he had also recruited Finn and herself. Rey liked to believe that the three of them had a friendship that went a little deeper that the surface. Although she was sure that he was more acquainted with Finn. The two of theme seemed as close as one could be in a Resistance camp.

Avoiding stepping on any tents or weapons lying around, Rey wove her way through the maze until she finally reached Finn and Poe. Both of them were talking, but not in the light-heartedly manner they usually did, but in a serious to nervous way. It put her instantly on edge.

When she came into view they stopped talking and watched her. Finn seemed angry, starred at her with unreadable eyes until his gaze shifted away to a far of point in the sky. His jaw clenched and his arms were crossed protectively over his upper body. His whole being screamed of discomfort. What had happened?

“Finn, Poe are you two alright?” She finally came to stop, her hair falling out of its hair style and into her face. She swept it impatiently away. Her curious eyes viewed Poe whose stare was unrelenting and full of sympathy.  
“The general, Leia, wants to see you…” he let the rest of the sentence hand in the air around them, making everyone uncomfortable with its implication. Rey sensed it. The meaning behind it, she sensed the impending doom, the change this meeting would bring with her and like a scared rabbit that senses the storm, she instantly had a reaction of fear. She recoiled, barely visible to the men but she did. In her mind she saw her future, exiled from this place, the first place she had called home. How could she ever recover from this? What would she do? Would Finn join her? Could she bring it over her to rip him too from this place? To steal his only chance at happiness? No, she decided, she wouldn’t do that. She would leave quietly, if she had to leave, that was. Would she? She didn’t know. Didn’t want to know. Her heart raced, her mind went into panic mode and just like always she felt _it_ rising within her. Always there and ever to surface when she was in danger or peril. It rushed through her blood, sharpened her senses and made her feel like she wasn’t alone. She wasn’t alone, was she?

“Why does this sound like I’m being kicked off the Resistance?” Her tone was falsely light even when her tongue was heavy and her throat constricted.  
Poe eyed her without humour, his bouncy curls swinging in the old breeze. “No, not being kicked off. We would never exile our best member… Congrats by the way, you did it again.” He threw her one of his famous smiles. One of those that could turn any day into a good day, that could take off the pressure in any situation, normally. Only now it wasn’t working because his eyes were still hard and unforgiving, his muscles tensed.  
“Yes, that is what I have been saying!” Finn butted in, his face angry and just as tense as Poe.  
“Finn, we have been through this…” Poe started, turning to his friend.  
“I know we have, but I still don’t see the reason behind it. It is absolutely mental! You hear me, mental. It’s dangerous, it’s stupid and it won’t work!”  
Poe now stared at his friend angrily, his lips pursed and his eyes sinister. He would surely have continued but Rey had enough. This was obviously about her and she was the only one that was left out of this discussion. That was no way to treat her.

“What are you two going on about? Tell me now, Finn?” Finn pressed his lips together, setting his mouth in a straight line. His brown eyes, usually full of warmth and open like a book, were now cold and closed off.  
“I think it is best if the General explains everything, she is waiting for you…”  
Without another word, but glaring at the two men, Rey turned around and strode in the direction of the Generals tent. What was this about?

The Generals tent was one of the biggest in the whole camp. It was a lighter shade of green, nearly boarding on a mossy brown with a few specks of mud lightly strewn into it. The entrance was not, like with all other tents, just one side cut in half and only hold together by a zip but a true door-knock-off. It was a cut out in the form of doorway and the excess fabric was rolled up and attached to the right upper corner. On the sides were even imitated windows, tent-fabric that was see-through. Some of them were even openable, you just had to roll them up, the door functioning as guide and example.

To the left and right of the “door” stood two men. Rey knew them both, not very well but from seeing them around the camp. Their numbers were so few that everybody has seen everybody. It was an advantage sometimes. No impostor could worm its way into their ranks and spy on them. On the other hand they were such a little force, just scrapping by, hardly a threat to the First Order.

The two men were tall, above average, one had thin brow hair that didn’t grow evenly and had created a tumultuous patchy pattern upon his head. He wasn’t very attractive and his watery blue eyes only aided in that impression. His skin was ashen and already wrinkled even though he surely wasn’t a day older than thirty-five. Rey knew what had happened to him. She had seen enough men and women like him, falling victim to drug abuse. They all looked very similar. The same ashen skin colour, the same brown teeth and cracked lips. He probably used to be addicted to a very powerful drug called “death sticks”. Demonic little things. Could bring down any man, no matter how big and how tough. They were forbidden, of course, but the black market was flooded with them, they came in all shape and seizes. Some even had a glow effect.  
Rey had seen them. Being traded, bought, sold, taken and most importantly she had often seen people take their last one and die alone on the street with a smile frozen on their lips, their eyes glassy and far away full of bliss. It wasn’t a bad way to go. Better than to freeze to death while being fully aware of what was happening.

 Rey had never taken them, too afraid of becoming addicted, of dying. She always had a strong urge to survive. She may not seem like much, all scrawny and fragile, but she was tougher than most people out there, most of the men.

“I wish to see the General” Her hazel eyes fixed the two men, her voice cold and commanding. They didn’t say anything, just motioned for her to enter.

On entering Rey was met with the sweet smell of dark tea and of fresh bread, a treat she had never had the pleasure of receiving. Usually her bread had already gone stale. She would pity herself, really, but there were worse things in life, especially because she didn’t know how fresh bred tasted. So she wasn’t missing anything.  
Still, her stomach started to rumble and make very inappropriate sounds.  She really hadn’t eaten much in the last days, but that was fine, she never did eat much. It seemed that that was the story of her life, no food and going hungry. Her stomach stopped rumbling. It was liked it gave up, knowing that whining and complaining wouldn’t get it anywhere. It would have to wait.  

The inside of the tent was dimly lit, the pale morning sun just barely reaching its glowing tendrils inside and leaving interior in the half dark. Rey had entered something like a cloakroom or a room before the actual living space. She didn’t really get that concept, never had and probably never will. _What a waste_ was her first thought but she instantly chastised herself for thinking this way. Out there hundreds of men and women lived in the poorest conditions with tents barely bigger than they themselves were. Even if that may be true, the General was the most important person in this whole camp so she deserved a bit of comfort, didn’t she?

Rey didn’t put her cloak on one of the racks, that wouldn’t be necessary, she was just passing through. Would be over with before she knew it.

Taking a deep breath she passed a second “door” and came into a wider space, at least ten times her own tent. The room, for it was really a room, was furnished with a lathered couch even it was more on the meagre side for a couch, a grand table out of hard and dark wood, many rugs in all colours and many chairs. It was truly magnificent. The scent of bread and dark tea with a streak of vanilla was even heavier inside. Rey let out her breath in fascination. She didn’t know a tent could look that much like a real home, like a real house. It was stupid, but true. With her twenty-two years she had seen more than any human should ever see but at the same time she hasn’t seen most common things. So experienced but so naïve at the same time. She hated it, not knowing, being caught marveling over the wonders that opened themselves to her. Wonders that seemed like normalities to most.

“You must be Rey?” , a smooth and gentle voice made Rey jump. For a moment she was caught in fright at the stranger that she only now saw sitting in one of the chairs sipping on a cup of what was probably tea. Rey spun around her hair whipping around her, her muscles jumping into action, every fiber of her was ready to fight. Under the judging gaze of the General she felt like a stupid child. What was she thinking?

Lowering her arms and starring back into the hard eyes of the woman in front of her, Rey only nodded and didn’t make any inclination to start the conversation. The General examined her, keeping still too. Rey couldn’t help but notice what a strong person the General was. From the way she held herself to her warm but at the same time cold eyes. She didn’t seem like a cruel person but not above doing what was needed to be done.

Slowing the General folded her arms in front of her chest, not letting the girl out of her sight. “Sit” It wasn’t a request, it was a command. Rey didn’t like commands.  
“Yes, General” With a dangerous glint in her eyes, she sat down, her skin prickling and blood boiling. “May I ask why I have been called into your tent, so early in the morning?”  
The General smiled, her eyes suddenly losing their edge then she be became serious again and sighing she put her cup of tea away.  
“Rey” she said and the way she said it made Rey look away at the ground. It sounded so warm, so full of compassion. Rey didn’t need compassion. She needed answers.  
 “I have been… well, observing you for a while now…”  
Rey looked up again. What was that supposed to mean?  
“I’m sorry, General? How exactly have you been watching me?”  
The General waved her hand in a belittling gesture, now smiling again.  
“First of all, please call me Lea, and know that no matter what your answer to my proposition is, it will not influence your place in this community, in the Resistance.”  
Relaxing, Rey leaned back, her hair falling of her shoulders. It had grown longer in the past months. A luxury she usually wasn’t granted. But now she could let her hair grow as long as she wanted. Freedom. That was what she strovefor.  
“And what does this proposition exactly entail?”  
The General, Lea, smiled.  
“Ever so eager… Patience my child.”  
“General, Lea, I’m sorry but this Resistance was not born through patience and wasting time with beating about the bush.”  
“Truly”, was all Leia answered still watching the girl in front of her. “In the last few months, Rey, you have proven yourself to be a contribution to the Resistance. More often than not you have shown intuition, intelligence, wit and skill. You have passed many of our older members in reputation. For that, everything you have done for us, I’m very thankful”  
Rey only nodded. She would give everything in the fight against those in the big castle who lived of the poor like parasites. They didn’t care about her or any of them. They just watched while hundreds of people rotted away on the streets.  
“After a lot of thought I have deemed you the most capable.”  
Rey watched Leias her gaze wandered away and the woman fixed something behind Rey, staring at it intently. “You, Rey, are nimble, clever and seem to care for our cause.”  
Rey nodded, she did, she really did.  
“The Resistance isn’t making much progress, Rey. We aren’t a threat to the First order. Just a meager fly that they haven’t bothered to kill, yet! However, we could use that as an advantage against them. They would never expect it, were we to try something daring. Say to infiltrate them from within… They wouldn’t dream that we, a force of a few hundred, would possess the audacity to plant a spy within their ranks. We have to get them where there are weak and their greatest weakness above all is their pride, their utter blindness to those smaller than them…” Leia leaned back and watched her words sink in. The young woman showed no to barely any emotion.  
“And you want me to be that spy… I see…” Rey felt her heart fluttering. Her… a spy, could she ever look those monsters into their eyes without betraying her real thoughts? Could she be that good of an actress? Was she ready to face such a threat and walk straight into the lion’s den?  
“You are fast…” Leia smiled proudly like it had been an achievement. Rey frowned. She didn’t like being belittled like that. A fool could have figured that out. She didn’t need her ego stroked.  
“You” Leia continued “should you accept of course, are to be planted in midst their ranks as the princess of Jakku”  
Rey frowned, again. That plan seemed to have more flaws than she could count.  
“There are a lot of elaborations to that plan, don’t worry I have worked on it for a long time. It is fool proof.”  
“It doesn’t need to be fool proof; it needs to be First Order-proof.” Rey watched Leia as she laughed, she really didn’t think it was very funny, but the woman seemed to be very peculiar.  
“There you are right, my dear. I can’t promise that it won’t be dangerous, that there isn’t the possibility of you being captured, tortured and killed.” Leas eyes were serious her brow wrinkled in concern.  
“You really know how to make things sound appealing…” Rey smiled. She wasn’t afraid of danger. Throughout her life she had become immune to it.  
“I am just telling you how it is. I will give you one day to decide Rey and don’t hasten with that decision. If you have any more questions, please ask away…” Rey nodded thinking about it.  
“What would I have to do, as Princess of Jakku?”  
“Well, you would take one girl with you as you servant. You would gather information about everything you can find, really, but most importantly you have to find a way for the Resistance to slip by the guards and sneak into the castle. We need to eliminate the head of the snake, so to say. His name is Snoke. King Snoke. We need everything you can tell us about him. When he goes to sleep, if he takes walks, who guards him…Whatever you can find.”  
“How do you intend to make them believe that I am a real princess? I don’t know if you haven’t noticed but I am not exactly Princess Material. I don’t speak like a royal, I don’t walk like them, I don’t eat like them and I can barely read and write. I can’t dance, I don’t know anything of history, politics nor of Jakku. I am totally unaware of anything that comes with being a higher born. I don’t know how to style my hair, I don’t know how to apply make-up, I don’t know how to dress, I don’t know how to act around royals, how to address who and who has which title.”  
Leia nodded, her brow furrowed. ‘  
“Yes, you are right, it will be hard. But Poe has started to teach you how to read and write, has he not?”  
Rey blinked in surprise… “Well yes he has… But…”  
“And as I understand it you have made quite the progress, he said you have more than grasped the basics…” Rey could only nod, her heart wounded. She felt betrayed, deeply. When Poe had made the preposition to her that he could tech her… she was thrilled… never had anyone done something for her just because… they wanted to. Without a higher goal. Well, she had been foolish. Now she knew. Knew that everybody was selfish. No matter who. No matter on which side. Some were just less evil than others.  
“A few months ago we got our hand on a letter from the castle ordering Jakku to send one of high rank to live in the big castle. It is supposed to show their good will and their obedience and promise to never go against Snoke and his men. To go against the king would mean the immediate death of their loved one. It is quite a good stragedy. As long as no body rebels, everything is fine. That is how Snoke overpowers everyone. We are all weak where we love and where we value something. What is dear to us can be taken away…”  
“Is that another reason I have been chosen for this task? Because I have no one. Because I am alone, no parents, no one… So I’m not susceptible to weaknesses?”  
Leia glowered at her, not liking to be challenged by the woman in front of her.  
“Maybe…” the vagueness of her answer was enough for Rey.  
“Well General, I don’t think I need a day to think about it… I will do it.”  
“You will?” Leia smiled, it lit up her whole face making her seem so much younger.  
Rey nodded. What did she have to loose after all? She was alone. It hurt. But it was true.

 

 


	2. Friendship goes beyond

*

 _“T-h-e  d-i-m  l-i-g-h-t  o-f  t-h-e  m-o-r-n-i-n-g   s-u-n  c-a-s-t  a  g-o-l-d-e-n  g-l-o-w…”_ Reys voice was steady and warm as she read the words on the yellow piece of paper out loud. It was so much easier now… Poe watched her, seemingly content with her improvement.  
“Very good Rey, I’m proud of you. You are so much better… you are truly a fast learner.” Poe grinned from one ear to the other, showing off his dimples. Rey wasn’t in the mood. She was still wounded. Actually, she felt betrayed and she didn’t need Poe to smile at her and think everything was great. Because it wasn’t. She looked at him, really looked at him. He was a flamboyant man, roguishly handsome with shaggy hair, a golden smile and the charisma of a king. He was like a people magnet. No wonder she had fallen for it. His brown eyes were warm and made everybody feel like they were special to him. Like they were different, that he liked them particularly. A lie, she had come to realize. The only ones that seemed to mean anything to him were the General and Finn. Weird as it sounded, she had seen it blossom between the two of them. They always hung out together, smiling and talking. Rey didn’t care. She hadn’t liked Poe that much anyway.

Finn on the other hand… he hadn’t talked to her since he had heard that she had accepted Leias preposition. He didn’t like it. Didn’t want her to put herself in danger. Her heart bled for this pure man in all his glory. She loved him with everything she had.

“Whatever Poe, just continue with the lesson.” She glanced at the letters in front of her. At the beginning they had been big and easy to grasp, the words had been short. Now the bold, dark letters were smaller, words long and complicated. But with enough concentration she was able to decipher everything. She couldn’t help but smile a little at the pride that swelled in her chest.  
Poe frowned and pushed a piece of paper her way.  
“Just write as much as you can, I would advise to you to start something like a diary. Even when you are in the castle. But don’t write anything important into it lest someone find it and read it. Practice is key.”  
“So we are finished with our lessons?” Rey glanced up. Such new would have  had her pouting and asking for more lessons just to spend more time with her friend. Now, on the other hand, it was unexpected but not unwelcomed news.  
“Well I will give you as many books and paper as you want. It’s most important that you are capable of writing and reading perfectly. Besides you have to attend other lessons, you have a lot to learn yet..“  
“Yes, I am aware, don’t worry I will practice reading and writing, I will be sufficiently capable…”  
Poe looked upon the young woman. His eyes, so warm, seemed disconcerted. What had he done wrong? Since the day she had talked to Leiashe had been distanced. Seemed as she didn’t consider Poe as a close friend anymore. What had happened?  
“Rey, what’s wrong? Have I done something?”  
Rey gazed upon the man. Her eyes unwavering and her face closed off.  
“No, Poe, I have just made some discoveries and have revalued my view of certain things.” With those words she snatched her books and her future diary. She didn’t need this. She didn’t need to get into an emotional turmoil. Not over Poe anyway. She had Finn to worry over, he hadn’t talked to her for two days.

Without smiling at the man who had been her teacher, she packed her things gathering papers and books into her bag. Then, with a little wave, she practically bolted for the exit.

With haste she stepped out of Poe’s tent and stretched her arms before continuing on her track to return to her own tent. She would store the books and parchment for now and get back to them later. She would still have time for that later.

“Miss Rey?” a young man, in his early twenties, approached Rey just as she stepped out of her tent again. He was wearing a black shirt with the symbol of the Resistance painted boldly upon it. Rey only nodded in acknowledgement.  
“The General send me, she says today you will have to start your real training…” The solider motioned for her to follow and gave her a kind smile. One of his teeth were missing, he looked quite funny. However, it had a charming aspect to it… or maybe she just wasn’t used to see a young faced that was unscarred and without the wrinkles of fright, death and war. Sometimes it were also the deathsticks or any other drugs that were circulating. The young man’s face, however, seemed untouched and his long blond hair vital and full.  

The man started walking with her at his side and together they passed many small tents. They were, to Reys surprise, not heading for the Generals tent as she had, wrongly, assumed. They were instead heading for the forest, away from the camp and away from the Resistance. The further they got from the green tents littering the earthy ground, the less heavier the scent of firewood, smoke and food became, whereas cold humidity lay in the air. Just like it was about to snow mixed with the earthy smell of wood and plants.

 Rey loved the woods not only due to its celestial scent that calmed her beyond anything. It reminded her of stillness and peace.

The path they were waling was small uneven. It winded it way through the dense forest, making sharp turns here and there. It wasn’t a path Rey liked to follow, it was one of those that led nowhere, that just ended in the middle of the woods and let you standing dumbfounded and with no way to go but backwards. However, this particular trail must lead somewhere, otherwise they wouldn’t be following it. At least Rey hoped that the man in front of her knew what he was doing, she definitely didn’t.

The earth under her boots made crunching sounds as she stepped on it. That was the only sound that was heard. The animals had probably already readied themselves for their winter sleep, had made a retreat into their warm holes and nests. Rey wished she could just hide something and wait until everything was over.

For the past two days she hadn’t really slept, her whole body in state of excitement and dread. Insomnia had claimed her and it didn’t seem like it would release her from its deadly claw any time soon. Rey hated it. Maybe she shouldn’t have accepted the mission. But she wanted to help, to aid the Resistance and pay at least a bit of what they had given her back. She never liked to be in debt. She _always_ paid back.

A black bird flew over her head just to rest upon a branch not too far ahead of the two still walking in silence. It observed the couple without particular interest, its beak picking at the bark of the tree. It was a darker shade of orange, bordering on grey. Rey wondered what type of bird it was. As she passed the branch, it flew away, spreading its dark wings and catching the wind just so that it lifted the animal into the cold air. Rey didn’t watch it fly away, too sad that she couldn’t flee and never return.

"We are here" The man turned to her and gestured ahead. Through the thick leafs, branches and tree trunks she could make out a small clearing, it was barely visible but if you concentrated you were able to see it. Without hesitating she entered, stepping into the bright morning light. The air was colder in the clearing, there were no trees left to hold the last scraps of warmth from the autumn sun. There was, however, no wind and a certain humidity lay in the air around her making her head spin from the sudden change.

Her hazel eyes turned back to where she came from, her feeling telling her that the man she had followed wasn’t there anymore. To survive the horrendous streets of Takodana you had do develop a sixth sense of sorts and that better sooner than better. It was something that happened subconsciously. Rey hadn’t heard the following footsteps, hadn’t heard the man break through the woods as she had. Rey had always had an exceptional well developed sixth sense. For reasons only she knew.

With her gift, or curse, whatever one might call it, she was able to see the world through different eyes. Somewhat better eyes, eyes that weren’t limited. They were all seeing. Just in that moment she knew, just knew, that nobody was behind her. The man had left, was already on his way back.

The green and brown forest behind her was empty and lay still, only confirming what she already knew. Even if this situation was more than peculiar, her being led to a clearing far off the camp, she didn’t feel the familiar pump of panic while it ran through her body heightening her senses. No she didn’t need that. In the last few months her feeling of her surroundings had gotten better and better. It was miraculous, with every time trying, she got better at it.

Just now, she felt that there were four people in the clearing and one of them was the General, who was heading straight for her.

Turning back she observed the woman dressed in grey, dull colours stride toward her, her face a mask of indifference. Well, two could play that game.

“Rey, there you are!” the General finally reached the girl, her thin lips stretched into a warm smile. Of its sincerity, Rey wasn’t convinced. She didn’t understand the General.

“Well, you sent a guard to get me, there wasn’t really another option…” Reys gaze travelled from the Generals brown eyes to the rest of the clearing. The grass was already wilted, the air too cold, the weather too dry and the sun too weak to sustain it. It was a pitiful sight and unnecessary to Rey. Only the green tent in the middle was of interest. Its fabric swayed slightly in the wind, flapping with the breeze. In front of it stood two guards, both of them seemingly uninterested and bored to death. They were sitting upon small stones and one was polishing his spear. The other was ripping out the already thinly spread grass.

The General frowned. “Always the spiteful one, are you?” Her tone was light and her eyes full of humour, indicating that she didn’t acknowledge the seriousness in Reys words. So Rey didn’t even bother to answer and was met with an uncomfortable silence.

“Look Rey, I’m sorry that I had to put this on you. But I told you, the Resistance is perishing, its numbers dwindling. We need to do something. The First order grows and grows, enslaving more and more kingdoms. Coruscant has fallen, the signed a peace treaty yesterday.”

Rey watched the General, her worried eyes her distressed wrinkles. “Coruscant…” Coruscant was strong city. It had fallen under the First order. That weren’t good news.

“I don’t like to put anyone at risk like this but it is the only way that I can see. And frankly, you are the best one for the job. I can’t send one of those drug-addicted imbeciles…” The General was getting riled up. For calming she drew in a unsteady breath and continued , quieter and more controlled. “I’m just saying most of them could never act the part. Heck, seventy percent don’t look the part…”  
Rey nodded. It wasn’t that the General wasn’t right. Most had already old faces, even if they were young. Hardly worthy of a royal.

She on the other hand was quite lucky. Her skin was pretty smooth, no scars, at least none visible and bigger than a few centimeters, and in contrast to most of the other Resistance fighters, she was able to talk without stumbling over her words and swallowing syllables. The others would never pass as royals. Just impossible.

“And Poe, he would have been a candidate, but he is well known. He has been with us from the very beginning and he has a few… _friends_ … in the castle that’d recognize him in an instant…” The Generals voice trailers of, the meaning of _friend_ hanging clear in the air. “And with you record, Rey, you were the most sensible choice…” Her voice was low, soft and full of sorrow. “You know Rey, it isn’t always fun to be the General, to lead this bunch of people. Sometimes you have to make decisions, decisions that you know aren’t good. In the sense that sometimes you have to sacrifice people for the greater good, for the end goal. It is something every leader has to do and every leader has to carry with them for ever.” The woman looked at her with glint of trepidation in her eyes.  
“I understand General. I , however, prefer a world where such decisions don’t have to be made in the first place. Sometimes leaders take themselves too seriously.”

Leia didn’t answer, her glare strong and without regret. It was clear she didn’t share this particular opinion. That didn’t discourage Rey, however.

“I think this world has seen enough leader that take it upon themselves to decide over life and death. It hasn’t worked so far, had always led into despair and power hungry kings and queens. Maybe it is time to rethink your philosophy. “

The General didn’t answer but just watched her with an unreadable expression. For twenty seconds, a painful silence, she finally smiled without humour.

“Well, that’s hardly of importance now. How ever you believe, the hard facts are that in ten days you have to be in the main castle as Rynalda Antilles, Princess of Jakku. Until then you have many things to learn. If you may follow…”

The General gestured a head and led the woman besides her to the tent that was still flapping in the wind and making slight noises. The two guards didn’t really look up, but watched the two women with interest.

“A few months back we intercepted a correspondence between the kingdom of Jakku and the castle of Takodana. As a demonstration…” The General paused at the word _demonstration_ to put emphasis on it. “of their loyalty. To be clear they wanted to take the daughter of the king and queen hostage to ensure that Jakku wouldn’t go against them lest their own daughter and queen in waiting would be killed and her remains surely send to Jakku per mail. A vile tactic but effective…. As I said, we intercepted the correspondence and knew that the princess was to arrive this month. To our luck she arrived a few days ago and… well we took her and carriage prisoner of sorts… As it turns out she doesn’t hold any more love for the First order in her heart than we do and graciously has been open to help us.”

Smiling a mischievous grin she opened the door to the tent and out stepped a woman barley at the brink of adulthood. She had long brown hair, not unlike to Reys, blue eyes that seemed to ooze of discomfort. Her eyes were striking, like the sky on a frosty winter morning, clear and light, and her figure was hugged by a simple gown but it was fine and much more worth than all of Reys possessions combined. It made her heart clench. How much had she already missed? How many opportunities? Just because she was born into the wrong family, into the wrong time and place.

The woman in front of her appraised her with silent interest her eyes not telling Rey anything of her thoughts. In her mind, Rey could see the dim light that surrounded the woman meaning that she wasn’t sensitive to the… well to _it._ Rey didn’t really have a name for it…

“You must be Rey…” the woman smiled and Rey found that she didn’t necessarily hate the Princess, she seemed nice enough. Her voice was unsure and thin, like she wasn’t convinced of what she was saying, it sounded like question than a greeting.  
“Pleasure…” The silent stare-off the two of them were having, was interrupted when the General butted in and told Rey all the things she still had to learn and all the smaller technicalities of her mission. Apparently she still had to learn how to dance, how to eat, speak, how to behave, even how to walk and to address people. And all that within ten days. It would be close to unmanageable but the General had confidence in Rey. At least that was what she said. Her smile deprived of any warmth did nothing to convince her.

“Today, we will start with the basics, how to address someone and how to speak and how to walk and sit!” The General smiled again like she actually believed that this was something to enjoy. It wasn’t… At least not for Rey.  
“A royal always is expected to wear a stoic expression. We seldom show emotions. Your walk is without haste, your head held high and you need to walk without falling over your own feet, especially in heels.” The Princess looked at Rey like she didn’t really think that she could do it and to be honest she wasn’t wrong. Rey had never worn heels and much less had walked in them.  
Leia only smiled encouragingly and handed Rey a pair of blue shoes. They were the most beautiful thing Rey had ever held in her hands. They were shiny, reflecting the light in a blue glow, they were delicate and fragile like a woman herself should be. Not like Rey, who was dirty and whose body was over laced with thin but strong muscles.  
She was rather on the flat chested side, which had never been a problem. On the contrary, on the streets of Takodana it was rather a perk as no sleazy men attempted something on her. In her early teenage years she had often passed for a young boy instead of a girl. Then there was the matter of starvation which had only aided in her slow development of a feminine figure and even now she was sharp and not soft and round. Until now that hadn’t been a problem but now as she looked at the Princess with her shiny hair, her beautiful dress, her rosy lips, smooth skin and soft curves and Rey was gripped with jealousy. It was ridiculous. She wasn’t going to the palest to show everyone how beautiful she was. If no one noticed her, the better, then she would be able to slip under the radar. And that was the whole point, so why couldn’t she let it go?

Walking, as it turns out, wasn’t as hard as Rey imagined it would be. At first it felt strange. Her balance was all of, with being titled slightly forwards and it was strange being taller all of a sudden but Rey got the hang of it soon. Then the hard stuff began. She had to balance three heavy books on top of her head while walking and keeping her balance and without the books falling off. That was much harder and more often than not the books fell. Rey knew that she could help with this particular exercise. She could be running wildly and still keep the books from falling off and all that with her ability. However, she was to really learn this as it would be of aid in her mission and ensure that she wasn’t discovered. So there wasn’t any cheating.

While walking the Princess of Jakku gave her many words and sentences to articulate and corrected her when necessary. After that Rey was shown how to hold a cup of tea and how to hold a knife, spoon and fork. Rey hadn’t known that there was a certain way to do those things but she was willing to learn for the sake of the Resistance and the mission. All in all it could be worse, at some point it was actual fun and the Princess did turn out to be rather nice.

Her kingdom had been violently taken by the First order and she was more than happy to help the Resistance. The fact that she probably would never had helped neither the poor people who were being oppressed nor the Resistance itself if she herself hadn’t been in peril, wasn’t mentioned by neither of the women, but Rey kept it in mind. After all could she blame the woman? Growing up behind the security of high stone walls and inside a warm home with actual fires, beds and the money to afford real food, one does not think about the hunger, pain and poverty ruling the streets outside of one’s window. It would be easier to just close your eyes, pretending that you didn’t know. After all, if you didn’t know, it wasn’t a sin, was it?

Only when the sun set in the west and darkness settled over the forest, did Leia finally call it a day and lead Rey back to the camp. It had been an eventful day and she was tired. The walk back seemed shorted than Rey remembered and as she walked upon the bumpy trail, she watched the last rays of sunlight being swallowed by the high trees.

The camp was only illuminated by the warm glow of a big fire burning in the middle. Rey could her chatter and laughter. Idly she wondered if Finn was there, maybe waiting for her.

“Rey…” The General turned to the woman once more, her face full of seriousness and something that looked like sorrow. “You are an intelligent woman, you’re inventive and strong. There is something in the castle I haven’t told you about. There are people, evil people… Snoke especially. You have to watch out. Take care of yourself… They have abilities that you couldn’t imagine, that are beyond anything. Please, be careful.”

Leia’s eyes were full of worry but at the same time glassy, it seemed as if she wasn’t really there with Rey, standing just at the edge of the Resistance camp. Her lips were ashen and a haunted glow came into her eyes that were reflecting the red light around them. “Take care” she whispered into the dark night, her lips parting in a silent plea.

Rey didn’t know how to respond. She had never seen the General like this, afraid and haunted by memories. Desperately she wanted to ask what the General was on about. What was the matter? Which people? What did they do?  
 Rey had heard rumours of sinister things that went on behind the grey walls of the castle. Screams could be heard in the night, people in pure agony begging for mercy. She had heard of the Dark Knights, a special group of people, trained by Snokes right hand. Nobody could resist them. They were able to do anything.

Rey shivered. Suddenly she wasn’t so sure about her mission anymore. What if she were to be discovered and she’d come in the hands of these people. Reys very being rejected that idea violently. She didn’t want to die. She didn’t want to suffer.  
 But she had to. She had to for all those people on the streets, rotting and starving away into nothing and if Rey had to go over corpses to achieve that then she would do it. Maybe this was her purpose in life. Maybe this was why she had been given this ability to manipulate the force that binds all things around her.

“Don’t worry, General, I won’t let you down.” Her voice carried a confidence that Rey herself didn’t possess. In reality she was scared and unsure of what to do.  
 Begging the gods above for strength, Rey left Leia standing alone on the edge of the forest and trudged away, finding her way through the many tents to the big fire burning in the middle. She had a week and a half to learn as much as she could. This knowledge she would acquire over the next days, would be her invisible shield against the dark forces of her enemy. The more she knew and the better she was at pretending to be a royal, the smaller was the probability of her being discovered. Do for the sake of the Resistance and her own sake she would put in her best effort.

The fire was huge and warm, even hot if you came too close to the licking flames. Little sparks flew into the dark night, reaching for the sky above. Their sheer quantity made Rey worry that the dry plants all around would catch fire. The flames would spread, unhindered and without borders. A chain reaction, nothing in its way.

Rey looked at the familiar faces all around. Some smiled at her, but most seemed distant, they had probably heard rumours of her secret mission, of her new assignment. No matter how much Rey loved the Resistance and their fighters, she wasn’t one to wear pink, rosy glasses and not see the obvious flaws in front of her. She saw the interested eyes, excited for a piece of drama to brighten up their grey lives, she saw ambitious glares by competitive women and men, their enthusiasm boarding on greed. They probably didn’t join out of sense of justice and desperate need for equality. No, they had seen their chance to climb the lather and make it to the top. The Resistance wasn’t perfect far from it, actually, but it was better than everything else that crawled through the streets of Takodana.

Stepping over drunk people that had laid down on the cool ground for a little e nap that would  more likely than not take until dawn, Rey made her way through the camp, her eyes ever searching but not finding her best friend. Where was Finn? She had seen Poe, several times. He was drinking and celebrating without heeding his surroundings. His dark locks were bouncing up and down with his rapid movements and Rey watched in wonder as he enticed the entire group of Resistance fighters, they all adored him, he was their idol. No wonder, Poe had that certain quality about himself that made you think you were special to him, worth something in his eyes. Rey had really liked him, had been blinded by her joy of finally being accepted and even liked. She had basked like a flower in the sun that had been Poe’s attention.

It didn’t matter anyway, she would be gone in less than a fortnight and then she wouldn’t see Poe or any of the others for a very long time.

Just as Rey was musing over her new destiny, her cruel fate, a girl stepped into her line of sight. She was small, smaller than Rey and wore a bright smile, showing white teeth. Judging by her skin colour, which was darker but more on the golden side, she was from the east.  
“Hi” she spoke, still smiling blindingly “My name’s Rose…” she looked at Rey like that name had to trigger something in Reys brain, but alas it didn’t. So Rey just stared at her blankly, not sure how to react. The smile the girl had plastered on her face and that seemed real enough soon faltered as she registered that Rey did in fact not recognize her name.

“So, I take it, they haven’t told you…”  
“Haven’t told me what?” Reys tone was suspicious. Was there something the General was keeping from her?  
“Well, I am the girl that is going to accompany you on your…” Rose, as Rey remembered the girls name, leaned closer her breath fanning over Reys face in a very secretive manner. “mission”, she giggled leaning back and wearing her overly bright smile again but Rey found that she didn’t particularly mind. Rose seemed nice enough, her open demeanour making Rey instantly feel at ease. At least this wouldn’t be a pain.

“And why, if you don’t mind me asking, were you selected for this mission?”  
Rose nodded, if it were a very good question before explaining that she herself had been a real maid before fleeing and surviving on the streets for two years. Then she found the Resistance, of which she had heard so many hopeful rumours. Without hesitating she had joined, dedicating her life to a greater cause.

Rey was more than impressed, instantly liking the girl so much more. Maybe she would find another friend along that horrible mission she was to go on.

“Well it was nice meeting you Rose, I hope to see you more often then…”  
Rose laughed and looked at her in a funny way saying that she in the castle, once they slipped into their fake personas, she would be the only one Rey would be seeing.

Smiling Rey excused herself and returned to her task of finding her best friend. She had to fix things between her and Finn, she was to leave soon and there was a chance, a big one that she was to never return. That was the reason Finn never wanted her to accept.

With trepidation Rey realized that Finn probably felt betrayed and abandoned. She was leaving to go on a mission. A mission which details he was probably not allowed to know. She was keeping him in the dark. His only knowledge was that it was dangerous and that Rey could very well not make it. She could die and then she would leave the closest thing she had ever had to family behind. They would have to fend for themselves, Finn would be alone again in the world after they had sworn to each other that they would always be there for each other.

But this was more important, Rey had to do it. The whole Resistance depended on it, thousands of people living on the streets and living in the poorest conditions, dying of hunger and illnesses, were counting on her to make a difference. That was what Rey and Finn had been after. To change things. To get a damn chance to change something. To finally be your own master and take your fate into your very own hands. She had to do it.

Following the trail that led away from all the people and the noises, Rey walked to the tent that she knew Finn slept in. The chill of the night crept into her thin clothes, making her shiver and her fingers stiff. The warmth of the big fire didn’t reach so far, and the air was rapidly turning colder.

When Finns tent finally came into view, Rey saw him sitting alone on a grey stone in front of his tent. He seemed lost and was staring into the night sky, watching the stars twinkle above them. Rey approached silently but Finns ears, always on alert, picked up the sound of her footsteps anyway.

Slowly his head turned to her, his gaze meeting hers. He had dark brown eyes, in the blackness of the night they seemed like black shadows without a speck of light in them.

Without saying anything, Rey sat next to him, actions speaking louder than words. They didn’t talk, they didn’t have to. Finn understood. But he didn’t want to let the only thing that was important to him go.

For what seemed like an eternity they both sat in silence, keeping each other company. They watched the bright moon, the many stars and the bright, flickering flames of the fire and the people around it. The smell of ash and burned wood mingled with the heavy scent of snow in the air. Winter was upon them and surly it would turn so much colder soon.

Winter was the worst season for anyone who didn’t have a nice, warm home and enough food to get through the big cold. No, Winter, for those on the streets without enough money, meant always shivering, fingers and noses turning blue and sometimes falling off, starving until you die, eating snow to at least quench the insufferable thirst and dying a slow but painful death. Rey herself had spent some cold night out in the open.

With trepidation she remembered the frosty air clinging to her very bones, making her loose feelings everywhere, in her stiff legs and cold arms. She remembered how every breath she took hurt, her lungs had burned with the frigid air. Curled up in one of the dark allays… that is how Rey had spent those night. She had seen one too many dead corpses in the morning. People who didn’t make it through the frigid night, their lips blue, ice clinging to their lashes and in their dirty hair. She had seen their stiff and lifeless bodies, their limbs sticking out grotesquely.

These people were the reason she had to fight for everything, had to fight with everything she had. She would succeed or die trying to. Finn knew that too and he wouldn’t have acted differently. They had known what they were signing up for. Potential death but one not in vain, one with a purpose. They would be remembered.

Finn laid his warm around Rey and pulled her to him, he whispered that he understood and so everything was fine again between the two of them. Rey would try to return, she really would. For the first time in her life she actually wanted to survive and not only out of fear of death.

 

 


	3. The castle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finally reaches the castle and is met with many difficulties.

___________________________________________________________________________

This was decidedly more difficult than Rey had anticipated.   
“No, you got it wrong again. From the top. At first you say “Your Majesty” and afterwards “Sire”, for a queen you first say “Your Majesty” and then “Ma’am”. For emperor Snoke you can either say “Supreme Master of all the Lands” or “Your Imperial Majesty”. It is up to you, however, “Supreme Master of all the Lands” is more formal and probably not for everyday use. I leave it to your judgement to address him in a fitting manner…” Rynalda Antilles looked at Rey with a glint in her eyes, saying that she did indeed trust Rey. “For the Knights, the so called Knights of Ren, you either say “Lord whatever their name is” or “Knight whatever their name is”… And their master himself you are to use the title “Master Ren”, “Knight Ren” and “Lord Ren”.”  
Rey nodded, she didn’t like it that they had gone over this for the hundredth time. She had always had a quick mind but had never used it for anything different than remembering spots where it was safe to sleep or where the city watch made their rounds at night. She had never attempted to… study… it was a foreign concept. Things like education and knowledge were for the rich and privileged. Definitely not for her. So stuffing all this new information inside her head seemed impossible. She confused all the words and tasks, her mind seemed to be one big mess.

“To the princess of Naboo, a very important city, you remember? We talked about its role in the international trade. Anyway to her you say “Grand Duchess of Naboo” and to the Prince of Tatooine you say “Royal Highness” and the Duke of Endor you are to address as “His Grand Ducal Highness” or “Your Grand Ducal Highness”…”

Rey nodded her mind swimming with names, trade cities, letters and history facts. She was to know so much but she had so little time. Time that was running out. Very fast.

In the mornings Rey had to study how to eat which was surprisingly difficult, Rey had thought that this would at least be the easiest part. Everybody could eat, right? It couldn’t be difficult…   
 Apparently she had been mistaken. It was rather strenuous. Who needed ten different sized forks anyway? Did people not have anything better to do?

In the last week she had learned so much, it had filled her mind, made her nearly crazy, however, it had also aided her. She didn’t feel like the same person anymore. She had changed, she now looked at the world in a different way. It felt like she had insider knowledge that opened her new doors, let her understand how things came to be and most importantly how Snoke had come to power, how the machineries of politics worked and how people played with power.

Judging people felt easier now, she knew of strategies people used to manipulate their opponents, she knew what to look for in people. She was fairly new at all this but she was getting the hang of it. It was just all so damn much, she wasn’t sure if she could keep up. Not that she had choice in that matter. She had to be ready in three days, then she would be shipped into the castle and everything she had learned would act like a shield against Sonke and the likes of him. The better she was, the less probable it was to be discovered.

“Now, let’s go over my family again.”  
Rey nodded and started rambling off names and family history facts that would be hers in three days. She would have to know them by heart. Otherwise she could throw everything away without even trying. Those were the basics.

“And my cousin twice removed is called Annalyin and I hold her very dear as she is of a kind nature. Not that I think ill of any of my family members. We are on big, happy family.” The Princess laughed. She had explained to Rey that things like family quarrels and not liking your own family were frowned upon. That was not liked to be seen, it brought shame to the family and everybody would gossip about it. The family should always present itself as an impenetrable unity. However, reality was quite different and the Princess herself didn’t like most of her family. Especially her uncle thrice removed. He was a slimly bastard (her words not Reys) and had shown interest in the Princess, even if she was his own family and even if she was much younger than him. Incest in royal families wasn’t unheard of and in that regard the Princess and her “uncle” were practically “unrelated”. Sometimes even siblings had to marry each other. The excuse for these atrocious acts was that the family had to stay within the family, the blood shall not be deluded and the family wealth had to stay in the family.

Rey did not have a family, however, she was fairly certain that this was not normal, that this was due to the abundance of time and riches the noble people had. They were bored and the bored mind came up with stupid things sometimes.

All in all, even if Rey was struggling, she enjoyed studying and learning all of these things. It made her happy. In the evening she often chose to read with her newfound ability, one she appreciate much more than her other one. The one that could move things.

Reading was like leaving this world and diving into a new one. Within these worlds one could learn so many things. Sometimes even something you wouldn’t be able to in the real life. You were given the opportunity to live alongside a stranger, to experience the world from a different view, to see how other people functioned, how different life was for everybody. It was a miracle, really, and Rey pitied all the Resistance fighters that couldn’t read or write. They were missing out. Within a few hours she was able to relive a whole life that wasn’t her own and ideally absorb all the information that had been gained in that lifespan. It was one of her favourite pastimes and somehow she wished that there would be library in the castle. She had heard of big rooms only filled with precious books where highborns stored their literature. Whenever they wanted they could just walk in and retrieve a book to their liking. It sounded like a dream.

*

The last day Rey spent in the Resistance camp was a sad day and filled with her repeating every bit of information she had learned in the last days, which was quite a lot.   
 Rey walked with her head held high, with a straight back and her face emotionless. She didn’t make any rapid movements and she didn’t get angry. Those were the most important things, that’s what the Princess had said. Royals should stay untouchable.

Rey always carried a book with her, since she started to wear such a pretentious mask upon her face nobody wanted to talk to her anymore. Which was fine because she rather loved reading and she learned so much from the letters in the books as she soaked them up.

In the afternoon Rose came with her blinding smile. Rose was already in her disguise as it seemed. Gone were the green and muddy fighter clothes and replaced them had a light pink dress with a beautiful flower pattern. Her brown hair had been combed and been freed of its knots and of dirt. She looked lovely, Rey noted. Especially with the slight cleavage that was on show and the curve of her full hips.

“Rey! We have to dress you.” She took the other girl by her hand and pulled her to the Generals tent where inside a big tub of water already waited for her. The water was still steaming and the whole tent smelled like roses, the water was of a light shade of purple. Next to the tub sat a stool and on the stool a beautiful dress in a bright yellow, with frills and ruffles and a deep neckline as it seemed. The dress screamed attention.

“Isn’t this a bit… too much?” Rey gestured to the dress that was certainly going to catch any eye. Rose shook her head, grinning. “Don’t worry all the women will be wearing dresses like that, besides we have to show what you have. The more attention you get the better…”  
 At first Rey looked at her confused and wondering whether Rose had really grasped the concept of undercover mission but then an idea seemed to come to her mind.  
“Reversed psychology! No one would look for an imposter in the light. They would look in the shadows because that is where they would hide. So I am to hide in plain sight!” Rey marvelled at the cleverness of that thought. She had read about “reversed psychology”. An obvious concept but somehow she never thought about it precisely. She felt like through reading about it she had gained an invisible weapon that made it easier to manipulate and in reverse harder to be manipulated.

“Yes, exactly, you are quite clever, I get why the General has chosen you.” Rose said as she pushed Rey softly to the tub filled with warm water. Rey gazed down at the liquid with anticipation. It had been long since she had had the privilege of a real bath.   
“Undress” Rose turned around and started busing herself with various bottle with strange, thick liquids in them. If Rey had to guess she would say that those were bottles of soap. Also something she had rarely the pleasure of using. This was luxury for her.

Without hesitation Rey started to undo her bindings on her arm and stripping the rest of her clothes. Shivering she looked down at herself. She could see the outlines of her ribs and when she moved her hipbones were visible. Dirt clung to her tan skin, making it look even darker. She saw where sweat has dried up and now clung like a second skin to her. She was definitely not Princess-material. This bath wasn’t going to change too much about that. She had to try, however.

Without hesitating she kicked her old clothes away and stepped into the warm water. It lapped at her legs, warmed her skin and washed away all the dirt and grind. Her muscles finally loosened and she lowered herself fully under the water. Only her head peeked out. Even the ends of her hair were floating on top of the water surface. As wet as they were, they seemed to be black and not brown.

Rose finally turned around, still smiling. She had picked a bottle with a greenish liquid in it. She poured some of it into her hand and ordered Rey to go under the water and to make her hair wet. When Rey resurfaced, hair sticking to her face and droplets of water running down her sharp cheekbones and cracked lips, Rose instantly started to massage the soap into her hair. And she didn’t stop with that, she cleaned her face, her neck and her whole body. Only the private parts did she leave out, telling Rey to do that herself.

While Rey soaked in the now slightly dirty water that was filled with white bubbles, Rose started to clip her nails and clean them with silent precision and then she did the same with her toes. She then proceeded to take out a knife and ignoring Reys stunned gaze she lifted one of her feet into the air. With accuracy that only comes with practice, Rose started to actually shave her long legs. Rey had seen the men do it in the mornings to their faces so she knew what was going on. But why would she have to do that to her legs? It seemed ridiculous. Rose then lifted her arms and shaved her under her armpits and also her arms themselves.   
 Rey had never been one to be embarrassed, you lose that very fast on the streets, but she knew that women usually tried to keep their armpits shaved. Needless to say she had not. So as a consequence she felt she sharp pang of embarrassment in the bottom of her stomach.

Rose washed out her hair, then put a kind of white lotion upon her face and ordered Rey to close her eyes while she put her attention onto the rest of her body. The face was to come later. Rey wondered what Rose could still be doing. Wasn’t she already finished? After all, there wasn’t really much you could do besides shaving and cleaning. Well, Rey had been wrong in her assumption.

Rose put lotion after lotion in her legs and body. She cleaned Rey in between her toes with a big sponge, she even cleaned her navel! Rey did feel a bit uncomfortable under her ministrations.

Finally Rey washed off whatever Rose had put on her face, finally thinking it was over, just to have the girl just begin with her face all over.

It must have taken at least two hours until Rey was finished after all, her whole body scrubbed red and her eyebrows throbbing from being plucked. She felt so damn clean and warm, it was a foreign feeling but not an unpleasant one.

Rose helped her out of the water that had long ago started to turn colder and was only lukewarm now. Rey was glad to escape it before it lost the rest of its warmth. The fabric of the yellow dress was soft and clung to her skin in a modest but still appealing way. The flaring skirt went down to her bare feet and the sleeves were long so Rey felt warm but beautiful. Rose handed her a pair of fitting shoes. They, too, were a bright yellow, a bit small, but comfortable enough.

All in all Rey did feel more like a Princess, all dressed up and cleaned.

When she finally emerged from the tent, she saw that the General, Finn and Poe were waiting for her with bored faces. When they saw her, they all smiled at her approvingly, even Finn.   
“I didn’t know you could be so clean Peanut” Finn said laughing with a sad glint in his eyes. Rey snivelled. She would miss him so, so much. What was she going to do without her best friend? Without him looking after her and being there for her? Finns sad eyes called to her like the sun. Could she really do it? Wasn’t she way over her head here? What if she ruined everything?

Anxiety gnawed at her heart while she listened to the Generals last instructions. Rose was right behind her and paid attention carefully. The girl didn’t seem too affected by the whole mission, by the pressure and hope that was put upon them both. Whereas Rey was having a minor, inner freak-out.

The General smiled at the both of them, Poe smiled and hugged Rey. She didn’t resist, after all this could very well be the last time that she saw him so even if she was still hurt, she wasn’t going to be petty. With Finn she hugged for at least one whole minute and when they finally parted, his dark eyes were glistening and he looked so broken and sad that Rey doubted her decision once more.

The camp was full with people who all watched Rey as she walked through it with her yellow dress that was flowing behind her. Her delicate shoes seemed too clean to be walking across dirt and gravel. They reflected the warm sun and their pointy heels dug into the cold ground.

Shivering as the air was turning colder with every minute as the sun was setting in the far west, Rey followed the General who lead them to their carriage. It was the official royal coach that was to transport the Princess to Takodana. When they finally reached it after walking for ten minutes, Rey was struck anew how little she possessed in comparison to other people. She mused over her own misfortune at being born to parents that didn’t even want her and gave her up and not to royal parents. The dark wood of the carriage was polished and glinted in the sun. Its earthy tone gave it a majestic area. The sides of the coach were embellished by a golden coat of arms, the symbol of Jakku, standing out proudly. The fine, golden lines went over the whole door and gave everything a certain important feeling. One of the Resistance solders was waiting next to the coach and was tending to the two horses that would be pulling it. They were both fine beasts, their mane full and golden, their bodies lean but muscular.

 Rey marvelled at the expansive animals and at the beautiful craftsmanship of the coach. She felt out of place. With her finely made dress and shoes she at least didn’t look completely how she felt. Her stance, however, was nervous and her expression wary. She remembered her lessons. Never show emotion. Never give away what you are thinking.   
 So Rey took a deep breath and schooled her features to fit her new status. She wasn’t Rey, the child from the streets, the Resistance fighter, anymore, she was Rynalda Antilles, Princess of Jakku and she was going to act the part so no one would be inclined to doubt her.

Rose behind her, reached over and opened the door for her, it made and elegant click and gave way to a wonderful interior. It was spacy, probably more so than Reys own tent where she slept and lived. It was padded with dark brown leather with golden embroidery. Rey could spot suns, stars and moons and many more symbols she didn’t necessarily understand.

Jakku, as far as Rey had understood, wasn’t awfully rich but the royal houses had enough to get by comfortably. The real Princess had said that with a flick of her hair, implying that while her people starved and died, they themselves lived with everything they could wish for. They let people die. Just for their comfort.   
 Rey didn’t like the Princess even if she didn’t blame the royal child necessarily. She grew up in this environment, she was never confronted with poverty, sickness, death and starvation. How could the girl fathom the hardship and need of those around her?

However, that wasn’t an excuse. She would just have to open her eyes and look around herself. It didn’t need much to see men and women wasting away in the sweltering heat of the Jukku-desert.

Rose looked at Rey with encouraging gaze, her brown eyes ever-friendly. This was really it.

One last time did Rey glance behind her at the high trees of her beloved forest. She breathed in the night air filled with the scent of earth and wood. She would miss it so much. She would miss the calming effect it had on her.

With her eyes closed she let her mind wonder, seeing everything around her with her secret ability.   
 Through reading she had hoped to maybe learn something about this little peculiarity of hers. However, she hadn’t found even one sentence hinting at it. It was rather frustrating. She just hoped that maybe it would be of help in the castle. God knew did she need all the help she could get.

“Rey, I wish you all my best. We will be hearing from each other.” The Generals face was sombre, her eyes sad.

Rey only nodded, her throat tight and restricted.

With one last glance around her, she finally stepped into the coach. The yellow shoes had become a bit muddy because of the walk through the wood, however the dark interior masked any bits of dirt that fell off. Rey was glad. She already felt out of place as it was. Her heart was thrumming in her chest. In less than twenty minutes they would arrive at the big doors and her fate would be sealed and there would be no going back. This was it. She had made a decision.

Rose sat down next to her. The girl didn’t say anything as the coach started to move neither did she say something when Rey leaned to the window to watch the scenery glide by.

Soon the forest became spotty, the trees only growing sporadically until they finally gave way to paved streets and first houses. They were barely more than huts, their roofs caving in or sometimes missing all together.  Rey saw the people working on their homes, or lying on the streets with thin coats. All of their heads turned and gazed at the obvious royal coach. Their faces were distorted by barely concealed jealousy and hate, some bowed in a ridiculing manner. Some pulled their hats. But most just watched with hearts and eyes full of hatred.

Feeling oddly attacked Rey turned away from the little window and let the brown curtain fall close as to shield herself from the sight beyond. She wasn’t used to be the canter of attention and especially not of hatred.

She wasn’t Rey anymore. She was Rynalda Antilles, Princess of Jakku.

She kept saying those words in her head, tasting the feeling of the name, getting used to it. From now on she had to react to this name and not to her old one.

The rattling of the coach going over the many bumps and potholes was oddly steady and rhythmically making Rey relax and let loose. She felt the bumps becoming less frequent and knew that they had reached the better parts of the city. The houses would be taller now, more finely made with marble, gold and expensive wood. They would have gardens and people only there to tend for those gardens. Men and women of status lived there. They had money, were considered royals.

The coach glided through the streets eerily smooth and finally it started to slow down. Rey could hear the horses making sounds outside. Her hand clenched into fists, her anxiety coming back full force. She glanced at Rose.

“Do I look presentable?”

Rose nodded with a smile, looking her up and down. Giving Rey one last reassuring wink, Rose stepped out of the coach and left Rey alone for about five precious seconds. It was utterly silent, only her own heartbeat and breathing was audible. She starred at the door transfixed and desperately tried to get her emotions under control.

Suddenly the dark wood parted and slowly the door swung open. The first thing that Rey saw was Rose, her servant from now on. She didn’t look at her, it wasn’t polite for servants to just stare at their masters. Rey knew that but it still felt strange.

With s much grace as she could master Rey out her right feet first and emerged from the coach. He back hurt a little from sitting so long but her nervousness overshadowed any pain and discomfort she might be feeling. To her right Rose still stood with her gaze cast downwards.

Head held high Rey looked around herself. The dark castle of Snoke himself was looming over her. It seemed to inspect her. Test her of her royalty. Dark towers pointed into the night sky that was already showing the first little stars. Night had just started to fall.

The square where the coached had halted was basically deserted only a few servants running over the cobblestone their capes flying in the wind.

Looking up the smooth walls of the castle Rey could spot many windows, some were emitting light from insight some seemed to lead to dark rooms. It was a strange pattern of light and shadow.

Still something felt off. At least for Rey. Her feelings were all over the place, it was like a current went through her and made her hairs stand and her hands ball to fists.

Something was strange… Rey swept her gaze over the parameter again. It felt like the air was swimming with an unseen force. With the force that bonded all the things together. The one and only force Rey herself had the fortunate ability to be able to bend to her will. It was an intoxicating feeling, like a sudden power rush.

Rey shivered. What was this place? Maybe there were people in the castle that were capable of things like her…?

A servant in a red cape came running straight to Rey and Rose. His hat nearly fell to the ground when he bowed as deep as he could go. He introduced himself as Charles Phillip Pablo Pavel Oliver. For short he said, as his name was quite a mouthful, she could call him C-3PO. Rey nearly laughed at the ridiculousness of that name and the acronym didn’t change that one bit. Actually it made it even worse but she wasn’t going to tell C-3PO that.

He was a quite tall men as Rey noticed, his skin was of a golden taint, so he probably was from the east or south, his hat was hanging into his face and made Rey wonder how he could even see anything like that.

He wore and outfit with the coat of arms of the Empire of Snoke proudly standing on his breast. It seemed to glare at Rey and made her look away so that C-3PO wouldn’t spot the hatred rising in her hazel eyes.

“Please, my lady, Your Worshipfulness, might you follow me.” Rey nearly laughed again at the whole situation. Not once had anyone called her anything akin to that.   
“Please, Princess Rynalda will suffice in every way C-3PO”  
 The butler, at least that was what Rey guessed he was, smiled and nodded.

Still in a slight daze, Rey followed the man as he lead her into the castle, the dark doors swinging open and closing behind them, capturing them, swallowing them and making them their prisoners for ever.

“We have been expecting you for quite a while. The grand Emperor himself was inclined to send a letter to Jakku. Out of worry, of course, he never doubted the faithfulness of your King and Queen but something could have happened…” Shuffling ahead C-3PO smiled again awkwardly.   
“I’m sure it was out of the good of his heart…” mumbled Rey. Rose threw a warning glance her way but Rey ignored it. C-3PO was hardly of danger. The worst he would do was gossip too much.

“Your luggage will of course be brought to your room immediately but I fear you will first have to present yourself to the court and of course to the Grand Master himself.”

Rey watched the smooth walls going by, the polished of mirrors where she could see her reflection staring back at her emotionless, the luxurious tapestry and the golden vases standing on little tables that seemed to have no higher purposes. She looked at the grand doors. The dark wood and the extravagant, golden handles.

To say she was impressed was an understatement.

“I know that My Lady would surely like to freshen up at first but you will only have about ten minutes so not enough time to change. But at least to retouch you make-up…” C-3PO kept rambling off excuses. Rey didn’t care. She still marvelled at the grandeur of this place. Not in her wildest dreams would she have imagined such opulence.

“It is quite alright, I will only require ten minutes.”

C-3PO finally stopped before a door that seemed just as grand as all the others she had seen on her way. This would probably be her room from now on.

“I will be waiting out her My Lady, ten minutes, I fear I must insist. Your belongings should already be inside.

How did they do that? How were they faster than they had been?

Stunned Rey stepped through the door directly followed by Rose, just to be even more stunned than before. She found herself in a grand room, bigger than any room she had ever seen, even bigger than the living room of her orphanage where all the kids had spent most of their time. Back then it had seemed so huge.

This room on the other hand was not only enormous but also furnished with the finest things Rey had ever laid eyes upon. A huge bed stood tall in the far right corner. It was red and the bedframe was golden. There was a long carpet under it, plush and softer than anything Rey had ever seen.

Overwhelmed Rey looked around drinking everything in, already forgetting what she was supposed to do. Thankfully Rose didn’t forget and she was also not as impressed as Rey or she was just able to control herself better. Still gazing around in wonder, Rey was pulled toward another adjacent room. How could sleeping chambers consist of more than one room? Rey soon got her answer as the door swung open and gave way to the white tiles that belong unmistakably to a bathroom. Rey had her own bathroom? Until now she rarely had had the privilege of a bathroom at all and now she had her very own. Just for her to use.

Giggling she let herself be pulled into the clean room. There was a golden bathtub, seemingly screaming at Rey to take a long, relaxing bath but unfortunately they did in fact not have time.

Rose pushed Rey onto a chair and then went back into the main room just to return with a bag. Inside were utensils Rey didn’t recognise but they looked a bit like those she had used in the camp to make her presentable.

It was an odd feeling when Rose started to apply… stuff... to her face and only then did Ry understand that it was probably light make-up she was putting on her face. Until now Rey had only seen prostitutes wearing in the streets but she knew it was also a thing among the rich and wealthy. They liked to polish off their looks. If you didn’t have anything better to than to fret over yourself…

Nearly sneezing from the cloud of powder that surrounded Rey suddenly, she scratched her nose and scrunched it up.   
“hold still” Rose warned and started to brush her hair out. “What do you say that we leave it open? It is a bit bold and it makes a statement that you are unmarried but then people will only see the woman you are and not you.”’  
“I trust you Rose, whatever you say.”

Nodding Rose brushed her brown hair and then she was finally finished after sprinkling some rose water unto her.

C-3PO was already waiting anxiously at the door and seemed relieved when the two of them finally emerged. He bowed again, his ridiculous hat nearly falling off in the process.

Gesturing for them to follow, he hurried along. This time they passed many people, some in finer clothes, some in the servant uniform. All of them glanced warily at Rey, from some of the royal women she even got a slight poisonous look which made her hold up her head even higher.

When they reached big double doors, C-3PO told them to wait while he announced them. When he was gone Rose turned to her friend.   
 “When we step inside you will be alone. I will have to join the other servants and you will go to the royals. In there I mean nothing to you. I’m sorry that I have to let you alone.”  
“It is fine Rose, I have had it coming, really, I’ll be fine.”

Just as Rey turned to the doors again, they slid open. The grand room beyond stole Reys breath just because of its sheer size. Long and speckles windows were placed in regular distances on the right wall, between them many torches provided the light for the room. It was startlingly bright inside, just like at day time. All around them flickered flames and torches, making Rey fear that any of the tapestries would catch fire.

Long tables where people dressed in the finest clothes Rey had ever seen were placed all around the room, the tables were full with glasses and dishes and one of those sets was probably worth more than all of Reys possessions. They looked to be made finely and their edges were embellished with golden patterns. They sparkled in the warm light of the room.

Every face was turned towards Rey and she felt the overwhelming presence of so many people. She wasn’t used to that. All the unwanted attention made her uneasy. However, there was one feeling that made her shiver and made her grab at the flickering flame of her ability that was always in her heart. She clung to it and made it surround her like a shield to feel protected. She dimmed her aura to everybody. It was pure instinct. Like a rabbit feeling its predator trying to catch it. She knew somebody in this room must have _it_. Somebody was just like her.

Her gaze went around the room and landed on the longest table with many men dressed in black sitting at it. They all had sombre faces, their eyes speaking of mistrust and hatred. The air around hem seemed to glow with their power. Her eyes went around the rows of man and stopped at an old man in the middle. His eyes were a watery blue, seemed to have lost all of their life already and he only had a few patches of white hair on top of his bold hair. An old man, Rey realized. He had to be Snoke, the same aura surrounded him, it crackled with ferocity but it seemed different than all the others she had felt.

Sonkes eyes landed on her and held her with his cruel gaze. Rey saw the air move around him, it was like a dark cloud. One that screamed death and despair. His gaze was devoid of any emotion only inhumanity remained within the blue orbs. It was as if he was trying to swallow her up, to imitate her. Unfortunately he was doing a great job at that. Rey felled real intimidated and really wanted to be anywhere else than in this room in this moment.

Sucking up her feeling, she raised her chin and stepped forward the clip and clap of her heels echoing in the eerily quiet room. The sound bounced off the smooth walls and was thrown around in the grand room.

Finally having reached the front of the room and sanding before the great Emperor, Rey fell into a deep curtsy and lowered her gaze just as if she were offering her submission. The room was completely silent as Rey waited still staring at the clean, gleaming floor.   
“Rise, my child” the deep voice that surely belonged to Snoke wasn’t as bad as Rey had assumed it would be. She had expected an icy voice full of cruelness but found it to contain a bit of warmth.   
“Thank you for your hospitality Supreme Master of all the Lands, I am honoured to be here.” The lie rolled off easily of her tongue but still tasted bitter in her mouth.  
“I have to say, you are very near late, we have been expecting you for a long time” His tone was still not threatening but Rey caught the slight undertone that spoke of exasperation. With a start she realised he didn’t give a damn about her, she was just a girl and he didn’t deem her important enough to even get angry at her.

Even if she felt slightly hurt by being dismissed like that she had to see the benefits this hydra would give them. Snoke didn’t deem them to be a threat. Just the better.

“I apologise profoundly Your Imperial Master, we ran into some problems along the way…” Snoke just nodded and made a gesture with his hand that indicated that he really didn’t care. A servant came running and showed Rey to her seat.   
 With that the chatter resumed and Rey was now an official member of the court. She was the sheep in the wolf-disguise. With as much grace as she could master and ignoring the interested gazes from the people around her she sat down at the seat that had been shown to her.

Next to her sat a young woman with heavy eye makeup, which was bordering on being grotesque. Rey had rarely seen women wear such extensive eye liner around their eyes, only some prostitutes on the streets were that bold. Even her eyebrows seemed to be blocks of black colour. However, her cheekbones were so sharp that you could probably cut paper with it and the strange makeup only added to that impression. She wore a strange dress that was black and white, her shoulders completely clad in black-as-the-night leather, her bodice was a startling pattern of black and white stripes. I was nearly borderline hypnotic.

As Rey sat down next to her with her yellow dress, the woman glanced over, her overly painted lips spreading into a derogatory smile and her greenish eyes wandering up and down Reys slim form.

She didn’t speak, however, and didn’t bother to introduce herself. Maybe, Rey thought to herself, manners weren’t as strictly adhered as the Princess had made them out to be.

Rey didn’t really have time to muse over that as the door swung open once more and a cold sweep of air went through the room. The chatter went down again as the guests looked to the door to see who dared to interrupt their meal for the second time this evening. Rey eyes zeroed in on the dark figure standing on the threshold and who brought the cold night air with them.   
 It was like her inner light, the force that was always inside of her, came to life in full force upon sensing that individual, a man Rey deduced while looking at the enormous frame of the figure. It was like a startling fire that blazed through her, a sudden rush of power as it filled her and made her gasp. The head of the figure snapped to her, black eyes bore into her own ones. Caught by panic Rey dampened her ability, burying it in the farthest corner she could find with in her.

The realisation of the danger she was in came to her all of the sudden. Some of these people had _the ability,_ they were like her and as she could sense them, they could see that she was one of them lest she hid it from them. That was something she was able to do as she had been doing it all her life. From the very beginning she tried to hide it and not live it.

She saw the black aura of the man flickering and pulsing just as the small flame inside herself was, like they were synchronized and calling to each other. Rey struggled to keep her ability under control, her hand shaking as they curled into fists. Her gaze, however, she could not avert, she was pinned to her place by those dark orbs that were staring right at her. The man stood completely still, his eyes searching, nearly hopeful as if he was looking for something in her hazel gaze, then it seemed as if he was wavering. Maybe he was wondering whether he did imagine it after all. Reys heart hurt at that thought, she wanted to scream at him and tell him she felt it, too. He wasn’t alone and oh how she didn’t want to be alone, too.

Finally his gaze shifted forward and he stepped to the long table of the Emperor himself. His dark cape trailing after him and he flicked his hood off his face and Rey nearly gasped again. He had dark hair, basically black, no it _was_ black, and a startlingly youthful face. Strong features and a strong nose that somehow worked perfectly together and the result was a beautiful face. Not in the conventional sense like Poe who was by all means handsome, no this was different. This was like a dark Prince calling to her to join him and who had unquenchable fire in his dark eyes that threatened to consume Rey.

She wasn’t able to stand looking at that man anymore so she finally averted her gaze and studied the tablecloth before her. It was white with delicate embroidery and seemed to scream wealth and opulence. The chatter reassumed and filled the silent void in Reys brain but it did not dim the flickering flame inside of her that was still painfully aware of the man in the room. It desperately wanted to get out and dance in tandem with its counterpart. That, however, was not a possibility. This cause, the Resistance and everything was bigger than she was and she was to put personal things on the side.

From hearing a chair scratch across the floor Rey knew that the mysterious man had sat down, so he belonged to the men dressed in black. Those were the Knights of Ren, Rey knew them from seeing them on the streets. They were rarely needed but when they appeared they meant death and despair. Nobody could escape from their clutches. If they wanted to hunt you down, you would be captured and if they wanted to stand over your lifeless corpse then they would and nothing could stand in their way.

Rey now knew why. It was her ability. An ability that she apparently shared with many other individuals. That was what made them so powerful and undefeatable. How on earth could a commoner go against those creatures when they commanded everything around them? They didn’t stand a change.

 Rey glanced to her left where and old man sat and as he sensed the young woman’s look, he turned and smiled at her. He had a long, wrinkled face with a kind of goatee that was cut off at the end in a manner that created sharp edges so that the hair in his beard looked like bristles. He had eyes that were rimmed by grey lashes and sagging skin. On the corners Rey spotted laughter lines. But the most startling aspect of his persona was by far the odd, purple shade of his eyes. Rey had never seen such an eye colour on a human being before. It was mesmerising an fascinated her to no end.

“You must be Princess Rynalda Antilles of Jakku, I am pleased to make your acquaintance.” His kind eyes seemed to smile at Rey and after the rather hostile encounter of the woman to her left, Rey basked in his benevolence like a sun in the flower. After seeing that mysterious man with the black cape something in her seemed to have shifted and everything was one big turmoil inside her, so she just wanted to have one friendly face in her sight.  
“Yes I am, and who may you be?”

The man chuckled. “I am Prime Minister Almec of Mandalore”

Rey nodded expressing her pleasure of meeting him. Mandalore was a name that seemed to float around in her head. She had heard of it. A very strong city that had surrendered themselves without a fight. They were, as Poe used to say, Opportunists and Rey didn’t know if it was a common trait among its citizens so her trust in the old man wavered.

However, she was spared to convers further with him as suddenly servants entered the room and brought with them platters upon platters laden with the most delicious foods Rey has ever seen. She could spot different versions of meats piled upon each other, thousand different kinds of bread as it seemed, some were white and fluffy, some brown and dense, sauces that varied in thickness and colour, vegetables that Rey couldn’t even name. Her mouth watered as the delicious scents wafted over to her making her go dizzy. She hadn’t eaten anything today and her stomach was grumbling with the prospect of food and even food that tasted different than grey mass. She never in her life had seen so much food on one spot.

Servants placed things that Rey had no idea what their names were in front of her and nearly forgetting her manners Rey wanted to dig in with her hands and all. Catching herself in the last second and staring at the food longingly she reined in her instinct to grab it and run away with it to shelter it. She had to wait for everyone to start. She had to wait. What a torture…

Her gaze shifted around the room, catching Rose eyes. The girl only nodded not even sparing a smile in her direction. Only to keep up pretence, Rey hoped.

Picking up the outer fork and knife Rey followed the men and women around her suit when they started to eat. A man came and filled up her glass with a red liquid that emitted a sweet but heady scent. Wine, she realized, something she had seldom enjoyed.

Plutt, the owner of the orphanage she had grown up in, had loved to drink and sometimes would leave half empty bottles around. At the ripe age of thirteen her peers had made a habit out of stealing these bottles and using the liquid for their own purpose namely drinking the rest of the wine. Rey had done it herself more than a few times, she had tasted the vile liquid that burned her insides and made her stomach revolt. She had coughed it up and she had felt the effects it had on a person. Feeling lighter, feeling braver, not caring so much anymore. When she had been little that had been wonderful especially for Rey who had been in a constant state of worry and grief. Those few moments when she had lain on the ground with her so called “friends” feeling all giggly and elevated had been one of the best. However, she saw Plutt and what had happened to him, a man who enjoyed alcohol a bit too much. Not that she blamed him. She could understand the need to drown all of your sorrows in liquor. She on the other hand had tried to never overdo it and when she had left the orphanage she had never tasted alcohol again.

Until now, that was.

Tentatively she took the glass into on hand and put its edge on her lip coming into contact with the surprisingly sweet liquid. The wine she had tasted in her youth had been so much worse. That was probably one of the infinite perks of being rich, she guessed.

She wasn’t going to get drunk, she decided. After having been in that state many times before, she knew what came with it. The sense of confidence and just recklessness all around. That would not aid her today. Worst case scenario, she would lose the grip on the flame inside her and it would start burning without control. Every single one of the Knight would be able to spot her from a hundred miles away.

That was decidedly not something she wished for.

The food was, as she had expected it to be, not alike anything she had ever eaten in her life and it nearly brought her to tears. The flavours exploded in her mouth and she wanted to shovel it all down. Some people glanced her way, she could see their surprised faces. Probably because she ate more than the average woman in this room did. But what all those Ladies ate was ridiculous, they acted as if they were birds picking at their food. Rey was definitely not going to do that, her disguise be damned. Food was way too precious.

**

The meal had been rather lonely for Rey, the lady next to her with the over the top makeup had not glanced at her once and apparently preferred to converse with all the other people in the room. The Prime Minister to her right or _just Almec_ as he had persistently told her to call him, had been friendly enough but one could always be wrong. Rey had swapped pleasantries with him but nothing that had gone deeper. All in all it had not been a fruitful event. But it was just the first day, so Rey didn’t let herself be discouraged. She would have enough time. Later.

After the meal, all the ladies and lords stayed at the table for half an hour, enjoying the wine and becoming drunker and drunker. Rey, who was still very sober, became more bored with every second and as much as she wanted to glance at the table where she knew Snoke and his Knights sat, she didn’t dare out of fear to meet the eyes of the mysterious man. His face haunted her empty thought like his picture had imprinted itself onto her inner eye, like her life force and recognized his and was yearning for it. Rey felt helpless. She did not need this right now.

After half an hour the first people started to tickle out of the room and as Rey find out they did not retire for the evening as she had hoped but they just transcended to a less formal room. There were no tables but many chairs and lounges. People sat around while a little orchestra played soothing tones in the background. Rey felt so much out of place that it hurt.

She wandered through the masses of people that smoked and drank like there was no tomorrow. Again she doubted that the General had made the right decision with sending her of all people. Her social skills were crippled.

Some man, she noticed, looked her way, some even smiled at her and made extensive eye contact. Rey felt overwhelmed. She had never received much attention from the other sex and when it had happened it had been unpleasant. On the street there had been the constant threat of being raped and discarded afterwards. It meant instant death.

Marrying and having a family on her own had never been on Reys horizon, even if it always had been a secret wish of hers as she always craved companionship, it wasn’t possible even now as she caught the attention of so many wealthy men.

When she finally found an empty seat, she made herself comfortable and watched the people around her trying to figure out how she was to gain information that would be necessary for the Resistance.

That was when many men started to approach her and tried to strike up a conversation with her. Most of them were pleasant enough and made their intentions clear with their leering gazes down her neckline. But Rey felt oddly flattered by the attention. She had never viewed her slim frame as tempting. Only her face had always been of a fine structure and unscarred. That was a part of her body she had been proud of. Her hair, as dull and brown it was, was alright too, she guessed.

Some men were so old that their hair had started to become grey. Rey was indeed a bit estranged b their attention. Had they no manners or decency? She guessed not.

Her gaze shifted through the crowd that was becoming louder and louder with every sip of wine that was drunk.   
 It was as if her eyes were drawn to the dark figure that stood in the entrance to the balcony like moth was leered into the flames by the light. She knew he too was string at her as her inner flame made a jump as their gazes met. It seemed as if the air around him shifted crackling with anticipation and hope. The darkness surrounded him, made him an enigma, screamed of danger and peril but it also called to Rey like a sirens call. Rey could see the barely contained anger swimming around him, simmering and growing. His gaze was dark and unreadable.

Rey would probably not have stopped to stare if she hadn’t been interrupted by a uptight voice. As her eyes shifted once more and she finally broke the contact with the figure but not before seeing his anger break through his exterior and his arms to unfold, and she took in the man that stood before her. Her was tall even if not as tall as the mysterious man and the most striking feature was his red hair that seemed to be on fire. His skin was as white as can be and Rey was sure that if he should ever come into contact with the sun he would burst into flames.

In his hands he gripped a glass of wine. He smiled a fake smile.

“Rynalda Antilles, am I right?” he asked. Rey nodded.  
“Yes indeed and you are…?”  
“General Hux of the Empires army, my pleasure” he held out his hand which was gloved. He must have forgotten his manners. For one he hadn’t used her title which was downright rude and he hadn’t ungloved his hand. Still Rey got up from her seat and took his hand with a fake smile. Hux, as his name was, didn’T let go for an uncomfortably long time. he was definitely not sober, thought Rey.  
“Jakku, was it?”  
“Yes, indeed.”  
“Well, I remember Jakku, I led a legion in that region.” He smiled fondly as if remembering something pleasant. “A filthy place, full of the dirtiest men I have ever seen”

Reys hand clenched into fists, her inner self crackling with the raising anger inside of her.   
“I am glad” she said calmly “that you enjoyed your stay in Jakku, General. I hope the desert sun didn’t fully burn your skin off.”

Hux’ cheekbones were dusted with a red glow and he seemed to want to retort something but was cut off by a deep chuckle from behind Rey. It was such a deep and sensual sound that Rey felt it in her very bones and it sent a pleasant shiver down her spine. Without looking she very well knew who was behind her. It was the man and his voice, his laughter, was more than she could ever have imagined. It called to her from far away and made her want things she didn’t fully understand.

“Ren, what a pleasant surprise” hux said with distaste clear in his voice. Ren? Reys blood felt like eyes, the sharp reality slicing at her heart. The man was Kylo Ren. The most ruthless man alive. There weren’t people that didn’t fear him. He was the master of a bunch of murders. And he was practically glowing with the force. Seldom had she seen someone with that much power. Only wasn’t it a light like her aura but pure darkness and anger that surrounded him.

Turning around and steeling herself, Rey had to keep in another gasp at seeing this man in front of her in all his glory. He had such luscious hair that it made Rey envious and insanely jealous. It was as dark as the night and made a stark contrast to his alabaster skin which aws just as pale as the Generals but not so unpleasantly. His eyes were, as Rey had feared, swimming with untamed fire. She saw anger, however not directed at her but rather at the General behind her, she saw confusions and intrigue. He looked at her as if she were an oddity.

Even if he was a bundle of emotion and fire, Rey could surly raise to meet him in his rage. She didn’t like to be viewed as an object, as a thing, an abnormality. She was a damn person and that look he was giving her did not fit her. This was a man that was used to get everything that he wanted. Well, he was wrong about her. Her spite was woken. She did have a temper when provoked and this man was about to taste it.

“General Hux” Ren said his voice just a full of disdain as it had been before. Then he proceeded to ignore the red head and gave Rey all of his attention. “I believe we have not had the pleasure at meeting. I am Kylo Ren.”  
Rey nodded. “ I think, Master Ren, everybody in here knows who you are…” his eye twitched when Rey said “Master Ren” as if it made him feel strange. Rey was pretty sure she knew what was going on. “I am Rynalda Antilles, Princess of Jakku.”

“It is my pleasure Rey” Ren murmured, his voice so deliciously deep that Rey went weak in her knees. His gaze was so captivating.   
“Would you care for a drink?” He asked, a smirk forming on his lips. Rey wanted to scream “yes” she wanted nothing more than to go wherever this man wanted to go. But she knew she couldn’t. He was trouble and she couldn’t. Never. He was dangerous, he had probably killed more people than he could remember and he would kill her in a heartbeat if he knew her secret. She had to get out of here. Fast. Before those unbelievably dark eyes made her say things she didn’t want to.

“I am sorry, I have not had the chance to freshen up since my journey, I think that I will retire now. I am very tired and yearn for a bath”

Stunned Rens mouth parted. He had obviously not expected to be rejected. His arm came forward as to grip Rey and hold her here but she was already off her yellow dress flying behind her.

On her way out she caught Roses eyes and the girl soon joined her.

Even on their way back in silence, Rey could not shake the man that was now nestled in her heart and brain. Kylo Ren was going through her thoughts without interruptions. What had happened to her?


	4. Midnight meetings

The bath had really been what Rey had secretly yearned for. The tub was big, at least spacey enough to accommodate two people. Not that Rey was thinking about taking a bath with another person. Certainly not.  
 The warm water, however, was just divine and smelled of the finest roses in spring and freshness. It gave her such a feeling of being feminine and beautiful that Rey never wanted to leave the tub. It was a foreign experience but a wonderful one and Rey did wonder how she ever was going to not use it. It seemed as the warm water that burned her skin just in the right way, washed away not only the dirt and grind of the day but also every worry that occupied her mind. All of her problems just didn’t seem so grave and severe anymore when she soaked in the bubbles. She raised her foot above the water feeling the cold air of the room chill her wet skin. It was startling contrast but enjoyable none the less. Plunging the leg back into the warmth, she nearly giggled like a small child at the sensation. However, all good things must come to an end and an hour later the water had turned colder and Reys finger prune. Still she felt as if she had been reborn.   
The fluffy towels that had been provided by the castle were doing a wonderful job of drying her but also keeping the heat she had gained from the bath close to her body. She never wanted to leave the warm cocoon of plush fabric.   
Rose only smiled at Reys childish behaviour.  
“You know” Rey said while Rose handed her bottles of lotions and creams and tried to explain to her which to use when “This mission was worth it just because of this…” she gestured around her. Rose too glanced at the steam filled room with the bone white tiles. She nodded.   
“It is quite a change to our” she lowered her voice to a whisper “Resistance camp. It is much better. Even the servant quarters a bigger than any I have ever seen…”   
Rey smiled, glad that her friend didn’t have to sleep in bad conditions. “Have you found anything out that could be of importance?”  
Rose shook her head and with her feet kicked the door to the bathroom fully close. “No, I did not but the servants gossip a lot. I’m sure that sooner or later there will be something of value in midst of it. For now the gossip of the day is you.” Reys gaze snapped up to Rose. She was the object of gossip? Oh dear lord…  
“What are they saying about me?” Oddly enough Reys voice was laced with an urge to hear what people talked about her. At the same time she was terrified as to what she would find out.   
“Well, they spoke of your dress, most loved it. Thought it made a statement about your belonging to Jakku, because of the colour and all. They said you looked so young and as if you were without fault. Some elderly women swooned of the smoothness of your skin and virtuousness of your gaze, whatever that was supposed to mean…” Rose giggled apparently all too glad to finally gossip a little bit on her own. “But the most startling and exciting thing for the servant body was after the meal when you talked to that red haired man, Hux I believe…” Rey remembered the incident without much fondness. “That on its own isn’t a big deal but then the Master Ren approached you and spoke with you.” Reys heart hammered in her chest upon hearing his name uttered but she levelled her gaze at Rose and spoke without betraying anything.  
“I can hardly believe… Surly Ren must go from one girl to another to court her and then leave her. He would certainly fit the criteria of an unfeeling pig.”  
“That is what I thought but apparently Ren is not one to socialize and especially not with girls. It was a rare occasion that he even joined the others after the meal in the common room. Usually he only appears to eat because that is what Snoke requires of him. But nothing more and nothing less…” Rose smirked at her and placed a strange device called eyelash curler in her hands. “This for your lashes” she said “Anyway, how is he? I heard that he can be rather intense but that is all I got out of the servants. They all looked really uncomfortable when I asked about him. I heard whispers of his temper and that he usually keeps to himself. Hence the oddity of him joining in on a social event.” Rose retrieved the curler after Rey had inspected it. Rey only nodded, deep in thought.   
“I think that intense may describe it pretty well. But I can tell you so much that he really doesn’t like Hux and I think the feeling is mutual” Rose nodded as if storing the information away. Maybe she intended to join in in the gossip. “But the food Rose…” Rey nearly moaned just the memory of the deliciousness. Never had she known that there even were so many different tastes and how they all worked in harmony in her mouth, like that complimented themselves and made a symphony of the sweetest kind. It was totally worth it, even if Rey stomach no hurt at the foreign food and especially at once feeling full and not only scrapping by. Her stomach could probably not… well stomach… the nutritional value of the consumed goods. Rey nearly laughed at how ironic the situation was. She wasn’t feeling good because she had eaten something good for once.   
“I know Rey, even us servants get food that is way better than anything we have ever had in the Resistance…” Rose grinned and seemed just as content as Rey was. Guilt floated around in Reys conscience. Shouldn’t she tell Rose about the Knight of Ren and about Ren himself? Shouldn’t she warn her that maybe they could do things… to her mind and body. Rey knew what the force could do to a certain extent but she feared that her knowledge might only go so far. Who knew what they could do with it as their weapons. They practically wielded the life force of every being. They might as well be undefeatable and she with her meagre skills could only be a bug under their black boots tailored from the finest leather.  
Shouldn’t she confide in Rose? But then the girl would know, she would know that Rey herself was one of them and that she had kept that from them all for years. Rey couldn’t stand the look of fear and disgust on the woman that had fast become one of the only people she trusted in. Maybe later, when she had evaluated how big the threat was because maybe she was just making an elephant out of a fly. Then again maybe she wasn’t.

When Rey was finally dry and had put on a nightgown, Rose had decided to leave. She said that usually servants spent as little time as possible with their lords or ladies as royals didn’t like to converse with those lesser than them. They only mingled with other highborns. Rey understood but alone in the room she was suddenly undecided as to what to do.   
She clutched her overly formal nightgown. It was beautiful, of course, an actual dress with many frills and flowers that wound their way around her form. It went to her knees and the fabric was soft like actual water. Probably silk. At least that was how Rey imagined silk to feel like. Not that she would know.

Her feet shuffled over the warm floor as she neared her big bed. It was a bit intimidating. She had never slept in a bed. Only Plutt had had a bed. Rey remembered it from when she had cleaned his room. It had been small and the sheets had turned an ugly greenish grey due to its overuse. The smell had been something to behold and Rey had nearly vomited every damn time when she had come close to it. It had reeked of sweat but the worst kind and other human liquids, Rey didn’t want to know which in precision. She had always wondered how Plutt could stand it. Sleeping on a pile of garbage would have been more enjoyable.  
 The bed had been smaller than the one that stood before her now, in all of its golden and white glory. At most a third of it, if not less. Rey was astounded as to how one person could use up so much room. It was ridiculous.

She knew that Plutt would kiss the ground she walked upon now if he could see her in her room and dress. He was the worst kind of humanoid that ever walked this world. Memories of her childhood invaded her mind, one worse than the other. She remembered the other children, cruel and just as broken as her. Their haggard forms, only skin and bones, floated before her inner eye.

Violently Rey pushed the imagines away. This was not the time to dwell in the past, she had to look into the future.

Loneliness swept over her and feeling the numbness that always came with thinking about her childhood, Rey walked to the tall window with the beautiful view of the city and the castle gardens. She watched the lights flickering in the streets mimicking the stars above in the high night sky. Longing gripped her to be with her friend and enjoy a good evening. She missed Finn and even Poe. They would probably enjoy their disgusting rations now and have fun next to the fire that would blaze. She imagined the sparks that would fly all around them and create a dangerous but beautiful spectacle.

Her gaze swept over the expanse of the maze of streets and alleys. They resembled those sparks a bit.   
It was strange to look down on the city, the place she had lived all her life in. It was as if she had transcended to another state of life and was now gazing down on those who had not.

Saddened by memories of her friends and the Resistance, Rey grabbed a book from her luggage. It was worn out, its pages had already turned yellow and sometimes they barely held on to the spine of the book and hung out in an odd angle. It had been a gift from the General, she had said it was quite old and once belong to someone very dear to her even if they were now dead.  
Rey had been thankful, of course. The Resistance had not had many books with which she could have practiced her new-found skill. Only about ten or even less and most of them were about tactics, history and over all rather about facts. They all belonged to the General anyway, she never had asked her where they had come from. Maybe they had been part of a raid or something.  
 The book the General had personally given her seemed different. For one it was much older or at least seemed that way as it must have been ready a thousand times as its pages were worn out. Also, the General gave it to her with a pained expression like she was giving something up that was dear to her. Rey had actually been really thankful.

She flicked through the pages. It was an interesting book, fiction, the General had called it with a fond smile. When Rey had wondered about the value of a book that told a story that wasn’t even real and would not be of aid in reality, the General had only laughed her off. She had said that fiction was often of even more value. It was such a different world you dived in, it was constructed by the author and it gave one more insight in the workings of society as one was confronted with a whole different concept. After reading the book Rey had understood. She had grown up in Takodana and had never known a different life. She though society as it was, with some people meant to rule and some meant to serve, was a given construct that could not be defied. She had been wrong. This was only one of many states life could be. In this book she had read of a so called republic in a foreign land and its problems. She had been fascinated by the concept of being able to decide with the rest of the population who would rule them. Who would be king for a given time. It was rather fascinating.

Maybe the General had given her this book with a hidden intent. She knew the General and she was a very intelligent but sometimes also manipulative woman so it wouldn’t be farfetched to assume that she wanted to show Rey how different life could be. That when you take your own fate into your hand, you can build world and shape them after your liking. Just like an author formed his books. Maybe, it was a secret message. Then again it was possible that Rey just read too much into it.

Setting the worn out book down again, Rey wondered how many more books existed out there in the whole world and if one could manage to read them all or if it were an impossible task. She certainly wanted to try. She marvelled at the hidden treasure that just waited to be discovered. She even felt giddy at the thought.

She would have to ask C-3PO about that library she had heard about. Maybe she could start from there and work her way through. Her imagination ran wild as to how this “Library” looked. She had never seen one, not once in her life.

Unfortunately reading and perhaps raiding the royal library wasn’t her mission.

Rey sat down at the window, having picked up the book again and fidgeting with it and starred at the random page she had opened, desperately wanting to conjure up the concentration to read and dive into the world of the Republic and the gripping adventures that were hidden behind the letters. However, it would come to her, the page could just as well have been blank. She was too preoccupied with her own reality. The whole evening rolled around her inner mind and she inspected every second of it to see if she had done anything wrong. Had she? She wasn’t sure. Maybe she had been too rude to the Master Ren. In retrospective he didn’t seem to be such a threat. He probably just had wanted to talk to her and she had made a fool of herself with running away. her being rude to Hux, however, she could and wouldn’t regret. He had deserved it. What a pretentious ass.

But maybe he could be of value to her mission, so it would have been better to befriend him. Where would she start, anyway? How we would she achieve to find information that would be valuable to her and the Resistance? The castle was huge, there were so many people and none of them seemed especially open towards her.

She glanced outside again, the white moon already stood over the city, the lights were beginning to dim and go out, and everything was becoming darker and darker. People all around were retiring to bed and giving themselves over to sleep. Many of those on the streets sleep was a risk they necessarily had to take. One never knew if you would wake the next morning if you went to sleep on the side of an alley.

Reys heart throbbed when thinking about those poor souls.

She herself had been in that situation once. Now, however, she resided in a huge room that could easily accommodate ten people and she used more products than she had in her whole life before combined. At the orphanage they didn’t even have soap. Only rarely.

She looked at the big clock in the corner of the room. Again, she was stunned at the mere size of it. It was nearly as tall as she was and looked like a small cabinet. The door was out of fine glass so that you could look into the interior and read the time. The clock itself was out of an expansive looking white material that had streaks of black and grey in it. Maybe marble, Rey wasn’t sure. How could she know? She was at most able to differentiate between two different kinds of wood. There was the darker wood and the lighter one. This whole mission had brought her into contact with more foreign things that Rey had never imagined even existed. Until now she hadn’t even known what she hadn’t known.

It was, if Rey read the time correctly of which she was fairly sure, just a little before midnight. Sleep, however, didn’t want to find her and to be honest the big bed with the plush looking blankets looked a bit intimidating. She wasn’t yet ready to face that particular obstacle. She yearned for the calmness of her beloved woods, the earthy scent in the air and the cold creeping into her small tent. She longed for the familiarness of it all.

She really needed a bit of fresh air. The anxiety was returning to her. Now, alone in the dark as the fire in the fireplace was slowly dimming, she was beginning to feel paranoid. The room was too big and too small at the same time. The walls seemed to close in on her, the long shadow seemed to mock her and form different figures that rather belonged in a nightmare.

Without hesitating, Rey grabbed a warm and woolen cape that had been in her luggage. It was long and obviously meant for the winter and it was a dark shade of green, the perfect colour to be swallowed up by the darkness of the night.

She wouldn’t be gone too long, she just had to see the stars twinkling above her and she had to breathe in the cold night air. It would calm her and maybe help her with her insomnia. Besides, maybe she would be able to speak with some of the guards and coax some information out of them. She wasn’t a rhetorical genius but if she wanted to be, she could be rather sly. Guards normally weren’t too hard to question. They saw what they did as their duty and not a cause they followed with all their heart. Soldiers had probably seen enough in their life to not be able to distinguish good from evil or they simply didn’t care anymore. Maybe they have lost faith in the goodness of the people as every side, may it be the good or the bad one, was cruel in their very own way.

Having decided on that plan, Rey slipped it on on and drew the cape over her head but leaved her brown hair out. Peeking out of the door she suddenly wondered if the palace hadn’t placed guard in front of her room but evidently it hadn’t. Maybe they didn’t deem her important enough. Well, that would be their downfall.

Reys steps bounced off the hall just as loudly as the first time she had walked them with C-3PO as her leader but now in the stillness of the night made the sound seem way too conspicuous. The hall was dimly lit, most if it was cast in near complete darkness. Only sporadically Rey saw torches pinned to the wall. There were no voices or laughter to be heard so Rey assumed that all the other guests and royals had too gone to bed.

In the dead stillness of the dark castle Rey stole across the halls and rooms, only half remembering the way out and she often passed by rooms and corridors that she was fairly certain to never have seen before. It took her about fifteen minutes until she finally reached an exit. It wasn’t the one she had been looking for but she would take it. Maybe this one was even better. It wasn’t the main entrance and the doors weren’t so grand. This one was just a small wooden door that didn’t seem to be locked. Maybe it was for servants, at least the dull brown colour indicated that. Looking around Rey didn’t hesitate.

Stepping through it, Rey pulled the cape tighter around her lithe form as the cold air instantly assaulted her. The frost that clearly hung over the whole land was biting into her exposed flesh along her nose and cheeks. She shivered, Goosebumps rising along her arms and legs. The friction of sensitive skin and the rough material was startling and rather uncomfortable.

Rey had endured worse.

So not paying it any more attention, she glanced over the long paths that led to who knows where and the high trees that seemed to be black in the darkness. She walked along those paths, the small stones under her boots crunching and making a funny noise.

The wind swept under her cape and dress making her shiver even more and Rey wondered if this really had been a good idea. She was alone in total darkness. Every breath of frosty air was like a burning sensation in her lungs, her throat already felt rough.

In the distance she spotted the high walls that surrounded the castle and protected it from any attacks. One of the many impenetrable qualities of the great home of the Emperor himself. This castle was like a secure hide out, something that couldn’t be stormed or conquered, at least not without a ridiculous number of fighters and much bloodshed.

She was sent into the lion’s lair to find the weakness that would present the Resistance with the opportunity to finally stand up to the Emperor and maybe even succeed in slaying him.

The new found knowledge that Snoke had a whole bunch of special trained men who fought for him and his cause and who possessed the force, was the worst news Rey could have delivered. Not that she had told anyone. But she was fairly sure that she would have to act soon before it was too late. Even if every fibre in her body bristled at that thought. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for that particular confession. It would involve a lot of talking.

The perimeters around the castle were surprisingly beautiful, even in the dark. She already knew where she would spend her free time if she were to have any. Maybe next time not in the middle of the night. But this was nice, she did feel so much calmer even if the icy air was still burning in her lungs and biting into her flesh making it go red.

Sitting down on a big stone at the side of a path, she stretched out and finally felt herself relax fully. With the fresh air in her nose and the coldness in her bones, she was able to think, her mind now crystal clear and sharp. This was how she usually spent her days even if the tent she now lived in was warmer, it was still blindingly cold at night especially in the deepest winter. Last year some of the fighters had died over night. The less resistant and elderly. It had been a great loss and had hung over the camp like a dark cloud of mourning. Especially because the ground had been frozen solid and they weren’t able to bury them. Their corpses had lain around, frozen stiff and blue. It had been like nightmare.

Her openness to her surroundings that she was feeling now, the awareness of her gift that was still a steady flame inside of her and her senses, was what made her aware of the figure that was heading in her direction. At first she was confused, maybe it was a guard that had spotted her and was now checking to see who she was. Suddenly, she wondered whether it was even allowed to go out at night. Maybe the gardens were forbidden for the guests after a certain hour. Had she just jeopardized her mission, solely because she wanted to go outside to catch a few clean breaths of air? Sometimes, she really could be dumb and naïve at the same time. She wanted to slap herself. Of course someone like Snoke didn’t want people creeping around in the dark and maybe seeing things that he didn’t want them to see.

However, as the figure drew nearer, Rey felt her inner self vibrate in anticipation and her skin prickle. It was a strange but dangerous mix between desperately wanting to stay and to look upon his face once more and to wanting to run as fast as she could. The thrill of a chase indeed.   
Frozen, Rey did neither and stumbled into a standing position, all of her nerves in turmoil. What was it with her and this man? Rey came to the conclusion that it was due to the vibrant force that was coming from him, it made everybody stumble away with its ferocity. Even people who were utterly blind to it, felt it to some expanse. And Rey, or more her inner flame, wanted to burn just as bright, wanted to match the mysterious man.

However, of these strange feelings and this connection could come nothing as he was Kylo Ren, the famous Master of the Knights of Ren. A most ruthless and cruel man that was feared in all the lands. Nobody could escape him. At least not alive. Only death served as a liberator, taking souls beyond the reach of any living being, even those who seemed so powerful.

But when she felt him behind her, slowing his steps, her heart thundered in her chest even if she tried to quieten it. Surly, he must have heard it.

“Princess” his deep voice went through her whole body and made her weak in her knees. It was a voice that seemed to call to her and that vibrated with the promise of trust and so much more. She wanted to fling herself in his arms, wanted so much but could never have, she shouldn’t even speak to this man.  
This was not a voice to be trusted. Quite the contrary, he was, after Snoke himself, her biggest opponent. Someone who wouldn’t hesitate to do what was necessary to keep Snoke on the throne. He would plunge her down a chasm in a heartbeat if only he had to, his eyes wouldn’t even falter in the act. He had no heart, she was wasting her times looking for a soul in his gaze.

Slowly she turned and in the process let her hood fall back and expose her face. The dark cape glided through the gravel. She looked at the man before her and had to crane her neck as he was looming over her. How had she not noticed before that he was so much taller than she before? He was enormous and not only in the aspect of altitude. He was a man through and through, he had strong and broad shoulders and a well sculptured torso. In the dark she couldn’t make out any details but she was sure that he was pure muscles. His strong arms that looked like they could rip out trees, only aided in that impression.

His long but structured face was illuminated by the white glow of the moon that stood high above the dark trees. Long shadows distorted his features and made him look even more fearsome than normally. But the most appealing aspect by far was his dark raven hair that hung low in his face, covering his ears completely. It looked so damn luscious and shiny, like the mane of a horse. She longed to touch it, to see if it was as smooth as silk just as she imagined it to be. Her eyes swept lower and passed his plush lips, even in the sallow light she could see that they had a healthy red glow to them, so appealing. Ripping her gaze away she finally found his eyes only to have them already looking at her with a dark glint in them, or maybe it was only the darkness around them that spurred on her imagination. Who knew but she knew that those thought were dangerous. She didn’t do anything to halt them as her gaze swept over his lips once more.

“Lord Ren, what brings you out at this time in the night?” Rey was surprised how steady her voice was, given that she felt more like shaking and crying but also running away at the same time. It was quite an up and down inside of her. She wasn’t sure which emotion would win the fight in the end but wasn’t too keen to find out as no option was very appealing. She would like to at least keep some of her dignity if possible.

His gaze turned even darker but did not strew away from her hazel eyes. Weren’t she holding on to her gift inside of her and keeping it ready should she need it, she would surely be terrified to her bones. But alas her body was flooded with a light glow and with it came a surprisingly good feeling that made her feel grounded and in the moment. Like she could conquer anything.   
Since she had come to this place, to this castle, her gift had been flowing more freely, like it had recognized the others in her perimeter and was trying to keep up with them. This was a strange place, somewhere where this oddity was accepted and many even possessed it.

His face didn’t change as he said “I wanted to ask you the very same question, Princess.” A beat of silence as the both had a stare off, Rey scowling at him.  
“Well I asked first, so I think I deserve to get an answer first.” The look he was giving her could freeze water but burn down forests at the same time. Rey only smiled coquettishly. His eyes, nearly black, burned. When he didn’t answer, she sighed resigned.   
“I couldn’t sleep” she said, still looking right at him “The cold of this land is so different from the heat in my country” The lies rolled off her tongue without problem. It felt exhilarating to be lying to this great man. She, a mere woman, small and fragile and a street rat, a scavenger none the less, was deceiving the most feared man alive. “I am used to sweat clinging to my skin and to feel as hot as if I were burning up.” Rey whispered the words into the night, their double meaning quite clear. Blinking up at him, she leaned close to him but only slightly. She knew that she was playing a dangerous game but something about that man was irking her, making her reckless and nearly crazy with want. What exactly she desired, she didn’t know. But it had something to do with the force running through her body that was for sure.

His jaw clenched and his eyes finally broke from hers but only to flick over her body. He then starred in the direction of the forest his jaw still working. Was Rey wrong or was a light shade of red dusting his high cheekbones. She could be wrong but she didn’t think so. No, she believed that she had embarrassed the man or even made him imagine things involuntarily.

She enjoyed the power she seemed to hold over this man with more power than she could ever have highly. That was what it meant to be a woman. If this was it then she did enjoy it quite a lot. More than she would ever have thought. All her life she had wanted to be a man because she only saw the perks that came with being of the other sex. She never stopped to consider what advantages came with being of the fairer sex.

He looked back at her, a new intensity in his eyes, determination was sparkling in his dark orbs. Then she felt it, the dark curls of his powers winding themselves around her. They were oddly warm and comfortable, the flame inside of her flickered desperately. It wanted to get out, to mingle with the darkness of his power. She felt it run through her body like a heady rush. She wanted more, it made her skin tingle and heat pool in her stomach. Her gaze glazed over as her lips parted. This was what it must feel to take drugs. If this really was akin to that then Rey understood why people never stopped with it, why they would rather die. Rey never wanted to part from this man, she would kill for him, in that very moment, it was like she had finally found something that had been missing all her life, like she was bonded.

But the dark tendrils hadn’t come to shelter her and pull her into his strong embrace where she would finally be safe. No, they had come to hurt, to take what wasn’t theirs to take. The realisation came to Rey like a wakeup call and it hurt more than anything ever had. She wanted to gasp because of the pain in her heart, like it was ripped a part just as it had healed. But she held the gasp back with the possible tears. She wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. not for that twisted, evil man. Hatred wasn’t really behind those words. Oh, how she wanted to bask in his power and shower him with her own.  
 But she hadn’t lived most of her life in the highest poverty to submit to a damn feeling, to something that didn’t even make sense, something that defined any logic that ruled the world. This was ridiculous. She had always been a woman of rational thought and not of heart. Had she been that foolish then she would have been dead a long time now. Her mind was what had kept her alive and not her feelings.

He didn’t seem to be as affected as she was, his gaze was still burning but his face was impassive. How was this possible? Didn’t he feel the impossible tuck inside of him? Was it just her?

The dark tendrils probed at her mind and tried to steal her thought, memories and feelings. Rey could feel _him_ in the dark tendril, bits and pieces of thought. She felt his curiosity and eagerness to invade her mind and with shock she realized also her body.   
 Out of instinct Reys light flickered protecting her and making an impenetrable shield. It seemed to cover her, finally coming out of its hiding and _burning_.   
 When the darkness that looked like black smoke and the night itself but was as warm as a summer day, came into contact with her blazing light, a feeling unlike any other rushed through Rey. She wondered if this was a similar experience like the climax of a sexual union. She had heard men and woman talk about it. The earth shattering sensation that came at the highest point of the act. This must be it, she thought, nothing would compare to this. This was what life was about.  
 But it was over way too soon, the darkness receded quickly, the tendrils jerking back as if burned but not before and indistinguishable coil of feeling rushed through her that weren’t her own. It was addicting and so scaring at the same time. Like liquid fire rushing trough her.

Finally the impassiveness of his face broke into thousand pieces and he choked on his own breath, his eyes widening and a startled spark filling them. Rey felt like she was trembling. His eyes took in a frantic look, his shoulders shook with the effort to do something… she wasn’t exactly sure what…

 _The mission._ She had to keep it together, for her friends, for Finn and for the freedom of all those who were wasting away under the oppressing hand that belonged to Snoke. She had to push these feelings out even if it made her want to cry out in desperation. 

His eyes were pinning in place. Panic filtered through her rush of longing. She had to get out before she did the one thing that she would regret. His gaze was burning into her with a new found strength and ferocity of a desperate man that was reaching for his only lifeline. He took a step forward his breath coming in pants and his arm slowly rising. Now or never.

She tore her gaze away, her hands shaking from the effort and she stepped away. Like a moth to the flame, she again found his dark orbs. His eyes looked so deeply shattered as if she had somehow ripped away the only thing that meant something to him. His soul lay open before her and oh how badly did she want to take him in her hands and to sooth him with her words. He wasn’t alone, she felt it too. She didn’t want to be alone, too.

This was too dangerous. She had made a commitment to the Resistance and she had to keep to it. Nothing should make her stray from her cause. This was bigger than she was. Too much was at stake

“I think” her words were barely a whisper that was breathed into the cold midnight air. His mouth parted at hearing her speak softly and his gaze turned soft as he heard the fear that under laced her trembling voice. “I should return to my chambers.”   
Without waiting, Rey took off, her eyesight blinded by tears as they ran down her face. What had happened? What was the matter with her? But, oh, how she longed to run back to him and embrace him and never to leave his side. Was she going crazy? Had they put something in her food that was slowly poisoning her mind and senses?

The light within her, the force as she had come to call it, was crying out with desperation but she didn’t dare to look back, not even to see if he was dashing after her. Part of her hoped he would. Never had anyone fought for her, she had always carried out her own battles. Always. Only in Finn had she found a reliable companion but he was paling in companion to this man.

Somehow she could feel anguish rushing through her that ripped her apart from inside. It wasn’t her that was feeling this way. Where was it coming from? She felt self-loathing resound in her mind like it was directed at herself. Panic filled her and she desperately tried to push the feelings out of her head.

The gravel under her boots crunched with every step she took. An accompanying sound that trailed after her. Her breath came in short pants as she quickened her steps. Black trees and bushes passed by but she paid them no attention. Where was she going? How was she ever going to find her way back to her chambers?

She would be lost in the gardens of the castle.

Without purpose and aim she wandered around until… finally she saw a door. Relief rushed through her and nearly brought her to her knees again. Oh, how glad she was. She was so close. The door swung open with a loud bang but Rey didn’t care. She was back, finally safe. Even if every part of her body was screaming for her to return, to run back to that man. _The mission, the mission…_ It was like a mantra she kept telling herself to keep focused. Still shivering she fisted her hands in the fabric of her cape. Sweat was clinging to her and the chill of the smooth walls crept into her.

She ran along the halls of the castle, every one of them looked the same but the echo of her shoes on the even floor was soothing and already oddly familiar. Her cape trailed behind her, a comfortable weight that made her feel grounded and not float in her own agony.

She passed doors, tables, figures and windows where she didn’t dare to look outside in fear she would still see him, his dark eyes burning into her own ones and screaming of rage of her betrayal. She kept her eyes solely on the white floor, not even minding the few hot tears that rolled from her eyes to the corner of her mouth. There she could taste the salt in them and it made her throat burn. Where was her room?

It was as if her feet had carried her on their own accord, as if her muscle memory had known what to do. She was unbelievably glad as she herself would never have found her way back and would probably have wandered in the dark until the morning.

The door to her room was still the same but she had changed. Still, the dark oak was oddly comforting and the creak it made strangely familiar. As she stepped through she was met with the warmth of her dimly lit room, the heat creeping into her nightgown and chasing away the cold and frost of the night. The scent of firewood and roses was heavy in the air. Rey stood panting and leaning on the door, her brown hair clinging to her face due to the sticky sweat that had appeared while she had been running.

Her gaze swept through the dark room as to confirm that indeed no one was hiding in the shadows, only waiting to spring out. But the shadows stayed shadows and her pants became quiet breaths that resounded in the room. She was back. She had made it. Had achieved the impossible, she had escaped from under his nose, she had run from the man that could tame an army, the man from whom there was no escape.

Relief washed through her and made her giggly. She laughed silently to herself. Her eyes dropped with the exhaustion that set in with the fading of her excitement and with the ebbing of her pumping adrenaline.

The bed seemed to call to her from across the room and made her long for a good night sleep. God knew how much she needed it. At the Resistance camp one never got much sleep. No matter what.

Gingerly she neared the monster of a bed and pushed against the silky mattress, testing and trying it out. It was unbelievable soft and plush. Still hesitating she sat down, the fabric giving way and dipping. Sighing she finally let herself fall and be caught by the big bed. In enveloped her like a fortress out of feathers and warmth. Who needed company or a man if one had this? The most wonderful bed in history.

She was content just like that, the ache in her chest nearly gone now. He legs were throbbing and she had a headache. Nothing a good sleep couldn’t heal.

Tomorrow life would be better and from now on she would just have to avoid Ren. He was a busy man after all and as far as she knew someone to be sent on many missions. Who knew, maybe he would be gone by tomorrow morning. Maybe, he was just on his way to the stables when she had met him outside. Her mind told her that that would certainly be for the best but her heart throbbed in tandem with her legs just thinking about never seeing him again and coming in contact with him.

He was still here, in the castle.

The realisation came to Rey suddenly in with a clearness that made her scared of its meaning. This was ridiculous. Even if he were, she wouldn’t know. How could she? Maybe, if she opened herself to her gift and searched the perimeters. But she hadn’t.

Sleep… that would help. She just had to sleep and let her mind relax. Slowly she closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth and smell of fire burning. It wasn’t long before she drifted off to sleep.


	5. Emotions

Rey dreaded the next morning. The bed was so unbelievably warm and soft, the delicate sheets rubbing against her rough skin that was used to such different conditions. The cushion against her cheek smelled of cleanness and sleep, its fleecy texture soothing her tanned skin and making her mind wander into the world of sleep again even though this must have been the most Rey had ever slept at once. Usually her sleeping pattern had been spotty, a few stolen hours at most, curled up on the side of the streets. Now, on the other hand, she had more room to spread her languid limbs out and make herself more comfortable than she ever remembered to have been. It was as if she was floating through a cloud, her vision blurry by sleep, light pouring in from the window and illuminating the whole room, making everything look golden and ethereal.  
Her eyes blinked into the glistering brightness, a sigh of contempt escaping her lungs. She didn’t care, this was too damn comfortable.  
 Her hair was fanned out on the cushion, her fingers warm and not frozen stiff as usually, her limbs were heavy by the lulling warmth and sleep that was still clinging to them. Her gaze swept through the glorious room.   
 Memories of the night before were pushed away, Rey telling herself that she had completely over reacted. Nothing had been there, she had just been imagining things. This man, as he was powerful and the most attractive person she had ever encountered, had made her freak out with his imposing presence and his dark, penetrating gaze. She was sure that nothing had transpired between them.

A shiver that was not completely because fright went through her as she remembered the dark tendrils of his power curling around her and enveloping her. She had felt safe, just for a moment as fleeting as it had been before she had realised what their intention had been. Maybe this was just one of his ways. Maybe he was so powerful that he could alter peoples feeling and he wanted her to trust him and his power and not jerk back in surprise. He had to have her willing and unresisting to do what had been his intentions.   
 When his power had pressed against her mind, her very being, panic had finally come. It had hurt. She had felt like he had wanted to rip something from her. It had only lasted for a second but it had been enough, for her at least. She was absolutely sure, and she didn’t know why, that he had tried to steal her thoughts from her, maybe see what she was thinking or to know the real reason she had been outside at this time. She didn’t even dare to think what he would have found if she couldn’t have resisted. Oh, he would have seen so much more than he would ever have wanted to. The Resistance would be doomed, their fate sealed and it would be her fault. With a start Rey realised that she was probably the only one that could resist him and his powers, besides his fellow Knights.    
 Was it because of her that he had jerked back as if he had been in pain? She wasn’t sure. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that her light was pure gold and brightness whereas his was dark and like smoke. Maybe the glistening heat of her inner power had shocked him, maybe even scared him.

Rose would never be able to defend herself. The poor woman would be a helpless puddle by his feet. How on earth could she even begin to resist? She wasn’t blessed with the force, she was utterly at the mercy of Rey and the man. But maybe, Rey mused, he wouldn’t be interest in Rose as she was just a servant. As long as they wouldn’t give him or anyone else for that matter any reason to suspect anything, Kylo Ren would never get near to Rose. His interest only lay with her. The thought made her tingle. She instantly chastised herself. After all that was decidedly not how she usually presented herself and it was not who she was. Even in the orphanage she had always held a special kind of disdain for all those girls with their combed hair and pretentious attitudes who had swooned over their prince in shining armour, a fabrication of their minds, who would court them and only be interested in them- Rey on the other hand had never lived in such delusions, all she had seen were the woman with flashy clothes and provocative makeup. She had seen them come and go into Plutts bedroom and she had just known that no woman would willingly get intimate with that slime ball that had been her caretaker, so she had assumed that they had been forced or were paid by Plutt. That was her first encounter with prostitution and in had shattered her view of love. She had seen that men only wanted one thing and this theory had just been proved right again and again as she had lived in the streets and had seen men try to rape and force themselves on a woman. It was vile and Rey had hated it.

So it was utterly stupid to think of the dark man and his brooding stare even if her skin seemed to flush with those thoughts. She desperately wanted to be _something_ to him and not be just one of a hundred other people but it was ridiculous. He wasn’t interested and he didn’t see anything special in her. Her inner light flickered with desperation, crying out that it wasn’t true but she pushed it down. Klyo Ren was evil, maybe the most gruesome man walking among them, and she wanted to _be something_ to him? How foolish was she? She should beg the world and gods above that he didn’t cast his cruel gaze upon her and take even the slightest interest in her. Oh, how ludicrous and naïve she was.

Her fingers, clean and nimble, ran along the soft, silky material and her eyes focused on the closed curtains that still let the light through. Frist, she slipped her legs out of the light blanket, her toes grazing the smooth carpet under her bed and she gingerly sat her foot upon the material. The air in the room wasn’t cool at all, the warmth wafting around her bare legs and chilling her only a fraction, the heat from under the blanket escaping from the surface of her skin. Then, the rest of her body followed and the white nightgown lifted as she stretched her arms over her head to lose the last bits of sleep that were still clinging to her.

With little steps she stood in front of the heavy curtains and shoved them aside to gaze upon the landscape before her window. Now, in the light of the day, everything seemed even lovelier than before. The grass was still fresh and green in spite of the nearing winter, the trees had nearly all lost their leaves and pointed their naked branches into the sky. They looked like skeletons looming over her, the twigs like bony fingers trying to stab the cold above them. At night they looked like imagines from a nightmare.   
 She watched people running over the meadow, their capes flying. She wondered how late it was, the sun was already in the sky, any hint of red and orange long gone. Its rays swept through the gardens and filtered through her window into her room.

While she was standing by the glass, still watching the people outside, the doo creaked open. Reys inner light frizzled, pulsing with recognition of the woman that had just stepped into her room slowly and silently probably as to not wake her should she still be asleep. Confused to that foreign feeling that swept through her body, Rey turned to face her friend.

Rose was wearing a midnight blue dress that went to her ankles. It was plain and didn’t do anything for her complexion but that was not the point, Rey guessed. Rose short hair was pinned back on her head and she was smiling at Rey.

“Rey, you are already awake, it is time to dress you, and I actually came up to wake you. Breakfast will be sent to you within the hour.” she spoke with a light tone and stalked over to the bathroom, apparently grabbing things she would need.   
“What should I wear today?” Rey wondered aloud while she faced her wardrobe. The thought hadn’t crossed her mind until now that she would not be wearing the yellow dress all the time. How stupid of her but after years of always wearing the same outfit, only changing it when couldn’t be worn anymore due to overuse, she wasn’t used to have a different dress for every day. It seemed to be an unnecessary luxury.  
“Look at you” Rose said, emerging once more from the bathroom “already thinking like a real royal, only wondering about the important things in life.” She chuckled at her own sarcasm and proceeded to the wardrobe, a huge closet made out of wood and even with a little golden lock. For a short time she rummaged through the dresses that undoubtedly hung inside, before pulling out one of them.  
 It was huge and imposing but Rey did kind of like it. Her eyes roamed over it and she couldn’t hide a small smile that slipped its way on her lips. The red bodice was tight and plain, only a bow decorated the neckline which was round and not cut too low. It left the rest to the imagination but in a way that would surly make men drool. The tightness continued nearly to the hip but then it flared out. The skirt was made of the same material as the upper part but it was hooked up and embellished by various bows, frills and ruffles. At the bottom a good part of the underskirt was visible, black and plain but it made the dress look enticing and whispered of the promises and made you think scandalous thoughts.

The dress fit her perfectly even if it could be tighter as Rey was skinnier than the real Princess had been but it was more than acceptable. She loved the way the skirts swished with every one of her movements, she loved the feeling of the dark colour that Rose painted around her eyes and she adored the heaviness of the dark red lipstick. She felt more and more like a Princess and not so much out of place. Her inner light was blazing and flickering. Rey tried to quieten it but the power that rushed through her made her reckless.

What was wrong with her?

She had never felt like this before. From the moment she had woken up, the feeling of her inner force and ability was changing, becoming more intense. She could sense her surroundings and feel all living things in her room, she could feel the trace of the force in every object and knew how to manipulate it with her mind. Her mind wandered back to Kylo Ren. He would see her, wouldn’t he? Surly she must be like a blinding light. A beacon in this dark fortress.  
 But too many years had been spent building her shields and repressing her own ability for it to just break free. She was still in control. That was what she had learned… To mask and make herself invisible to all those who were force sensitive. She had spent s decade perfectin this ability.

Rose decided to let her brown hair down again, saying that it was beautiful and should not be hid.

Then she left Rey alone in her room and let her to think on her own.

Rey needed a plan, that much was obvious. The mission was to find something out that was important to the mission but neither the General nor Rey knew what that could be. Rey was a spy and spies should… well… Rey didn’t really know what they were supposed to do but surly not gush over their beautiful dresses.

She would walk around the whole castle and the gardens, Rey decided, and make herself familiar with her surroundings. She needed to draw a mental plan of the perimeters to find her way through the mazes of doors and corridors no matter what time of the day or night. Maybe one day she would have lead a troop of Resistance fighters trough the castle.

She ran her fingers along the red, satin dress. Kylo Ren would be a problem if he suspected her to be force sensitive. Surly he would see her as a threat and try to expose her and get her to drop her shields. Maybe to prove that she really was susceptible to the force and then have her executed. Maybe he would want her to fight for Snoke. God knows where he got all of his Knights from. The old man himself, who, too, crackled with the dangerous power of the force, probably snuffed children with the ability out and took them without asking, just as he did with his faceless soldiers in white. Her mind wondered to Finn, her heart giving a squeeze. Snoke was truly a cruel mind with no empathy at all, maybe even more so than Kylo Ren.

So the plan was to under no circumstances let anybody see her powers and to walk around the castle all day. It would be fun.

A knock came from the door, Rey turned once more, wondering whether it was Rose. But she knew that it wasn’t Rose. She could sense the dim flame beyond the wood. It wasn’t even feminine.

The man that stepped in after she had called a soft “come in” was young and skittish. He had light blond her that was short and had absolutely no shine to them. In his trembling hand he held a silver tray with dishes upon dishes on it. Rey was astounded again as she had been the day before. Her stomach grumbled. In midst of the plates and glasses lay a beautiful red rose, fresh and in full bloom. Surly a token of the Emperor to make her more susceptible to manipulation and inclined to flow his orders. She instantly looked at the rose with disgust even as she marvelled at its beauty.

“Princess? Are you ready to take in your breakfast?”  
Rey nodded, feeling empathy for the young man and his obvious nervousness, and gestured for him to set the tray down at a small table that was obviously made for exactly this. The man was still trembling. Might as well start the scooping now…  
“Tell me…?” she said with a languid tone.  
“Arthur, my lady” he responded over eager.  
“Right, Arthur, tell me what has you so… trembling? It could not be me, could it?”   
She gazed at him as he squirmed under her eyes, she didn’t release him while she walked over to the table and slowly but deliberately sat down. The young man eyes wandered up her skirts and landed on her face, his eyes full with a shy glow.  
“It was nothing, really…” he started, his voice unsure and betraying his discomfort and hesitation at telling her the truth. She raised her eyebrows indicating her disbelief and plucked one of the plush grapes from a plate. Without breaking eye contact she slipped the fruit into her mouth. The young man had gone pale.   
“Well, you see, Princess, on my way here I had a little encounter with… well, Master Ren…”

Reys ears perked up. This man seemed to be everywhere. As antisocial Rose had made him out to be, he sure as hell appeared everywhere. He was omnipresent. In her life at least.   
“Well” Rey said as she leaned closer to the man whose eyes flickered down to her tight bodice, his cheeks going a little red.  
“What did the Master want from you? Surly not to claim my breakfast for himself…?” she chuckled.  
“No but he did ask me if I was assigned to you… and them he… ehm…” his brown eyes glazed over and went into focus again “Then he just walked away… I think…” He ended with a note of unsureness that hung in the air between them.  
“You think? This just happened a minute or so ago, how could you not remember?” said Rey, putting one leg upon the other. Her skirt moved with her.  
“Yes, I am not sure, it just… kind of hazy, I guess, I was probably really frightened, my lady has to know that Master Ren can be a very imposing man and there are rumours…” he stopped himself and went red once more.  
“Well, thank you Arthur, until next time.” She gestured for him to leave and the man bowed and hurried out of the door, glad to be finally leaving the room behind him.

Strange, Rey thought, as she stared at the assembly of dishes in front of her. First, she picked up a generous slice of bread and nibbled on it. Her stomach still felt odd since the day before as it wasn’t used to get so much food or food that hadn’t gone stale and was already covered with mould.

Idly she picked at the strange things that lay on the tray and sipped on a hot black liquid in a white cup that was more fragile than it had any right to be. A hearty and slightly burnt taste filled her mouth and coated her throat. It clung to her to senses and made her instantly more awake, the last traces of tiredness slipping away. It went to her head and made everything seem sharper. What was it? She would have to ask Rose, she would know the answer.

She watched the light filter into her room and the branches swinging in the breeze while enjoying her breakfast. For a while she wondered what to do with the rest of the food, it was too much for her, she could never finish it herself and she wouldn’t want it to go bad or even be thrown away. She even wondered if it maybe was expected of her to bring the tray back to the kitchens but discarded that thought. Surly not. She was a royal after all and they didn’t do that. That was what servants were for.

So she just left the tray on the small table and, after grabbing something to throw over herself, headed out the room.

For a good hour she walked around the castle, making herself familiar with all the paths and corridors, she got lost more often than not but always found her way back. She knew where the main entrance was and where most of the minor ones where. She hadn’t looked in all the rooms, didn’t know where Snoke lived, a valuable information that she would have to get out of a servant on another occasion, neither did she know where the Knight lived. The residence of servants’ quarters, too, remained a mystery to her. At least she was able to walk through the castle and always find her way back. That on its one was already a big accomplishment.

She wondered where Kylo Ren lived. Would he spend his days in a similar room as her? Would it be bigger and be filled with more furniture? She was immensely curious and itched to find out. Would it look like cave, maybe, or be devoid of any personal tokens, be impersonal and without a touch of his personality?

The thought of that huge man sprawled out on his bed, at least as big as hers, and him in a deep slumber, vulnerable and even with a touch of youth to his features,  made her flush again. How would his sleep-tousled hair and his dark eyes in the morning look? Her heart was hammering in her chest and made her breath faster. What was the matter with her?

Embarrassed with herself she gazed outside a high window. She suddenly got the urge to walk outside and spend the early afternoon outside. The clock in the music room had read one o’clock in the afternoon, it had been later than Rey had anticipated.

Deciding that a bit of fresh air would do her good, she took the next exit and breathed in the cold frost of the day. Glad that she had brought a cowl, she slung the fabric tighter around herself and started going down the path.

The gardens were vast to say the least and she walked over grass and stone and trough small woods and even over little rivers. The delicate bridges were like things out of stories, a fairy tale with Princes and Princess.

While walking she saw many of the other royals as they walked around the gardens, many women in pompous dresses, some showing more cleavage than was accepted and some covered in so much make up that their features seemed distorted and unreal. She spotted Duchess and Dukes with big noses that hardly belonged to a royal blood line. It showed in their faces that they weren’t pure, that their status came from money and not birth right. Rey wasn’t sure which people made her more uncomfortable. Those with straight noses and ebony skin, their complexion screaming of royalty and telling the story of bloodshed and cruelty, or those who obviously didn’t belong to the highborn. Rey knew how men or women of lower status could climb up the ladder of success. Only through ruthlessness and through exploitation of those around them. They were just as vile as the mighty royals. She despised them all.

She walked by them all, ignoring the looks she received from women and men alike. Some younger girls watched her with envy of disgust as they flicked their shiny hair. Some men gave her leering gazes, old and young alike.

She tried to school her features and betray nothing of her disgust.

Walking on, she suddenly reached a place that was obviously not meant for the leisure time of the royals anymore. She gazed at the stone paths that seemed cold and unforgiving, she saw squares made out of a smooth grey material and men and evens some women standing around stoically. Some of them were clad in the white uniform of Snoke soldiers, so there really was no doubt as to what they were or who for that matter.

Somehow she had come to the training grounds of the Stormtroopers, the name Snoke has given his army. This was much better than the other royals, they would hardly be of importance for the Resistance. This on the other hand…

Fascinated, Rey looked at the mostly male groups that were rigidly standing or marching through the grass, their heavy boots becoming dirty. She saw some men wearing grey uniforms, the blazing symbol of the First Order on their breast, their eyes hard and cruel. They stood in midst of the many faces of soldiers and watched them like a hawk would its prey. Rey was sure that they were the superiors.

Hardly anyone glanced at her, she was just a small woman in the middle of an army. She felt her insides tremble at the sheer force the many uniforms and weapons emitted. Her inner light flickerd with so many people in such a dense setting, all of their minds forced to only focus on one thing, their inner thoughts swimming at the surface of their consciousness.

It was, Rey realised as she let her own mind sweep over these men and women, as if anything deeper than their need to serve and to kill their enemies had been removed and what was left were minds that couldn’t even be called _minds._ Only scrapes of humanity and personality left behind. Oh, how had Finn ever managed to remain himself here?

“Princess, was it?”   
Rey whipped around startled at the voice that was suddenly behind her.  She had been preoccupied with the army in front of her. But as her focus returned to her and to the man behind her, she recognized him as General Hux even before he had turned and set her eyes upon his pale form. His light, red hair was combed back and slick with an oily liquid. His blue eyes were just as watery and vile as she remembered.  
“It was, Hugs.”  
“Hux, actually” the man in front of her said, his cheeks going crimson, no doubt out of anger. “General Hux” he added while pushing his chest out and grinning at her.  
“Well, General, I was just looking at your impressive army.”

Hux grinned even wider, his eyes sparkling. She had obviously said the right thing to boost his ego.  
“It is the best one in all the countries.”  
Rey only nodded, her throat constricting. How could they ever go against such a force? Wouldn’t it be favourable to just live in poverty than to commit such a slaughter in the case that they could defeat them?  
“Would you like a small tour, Princess?” Hux looked down at her or more at her tight bodice and the black lace of her underskirts.  
“I would, that would be rather gracious of you, General, and please you can call me Lady Rynalda Antilles, no need for formalities.”  
“Very well, Lady Antilles, if you would please follow me…”

He gestured for her to tag along as he briskly started to walk down the many paths. With a stoic posture, his hands clasped behind his back and his chest puffed out, he started telling her of the army’s splendour and the force he commanded. Rey listened intently and stored every bit of information in the back of her mind for later.

She watched the soldiers, her heart fluttering in empathy at their fates. They never chose to do this, this was the only thing they were able to do and the only thing they thought was right. Every bit of humanity has been stolen from them and Rey didn’t even want to know what had been done to them in order to mould their minds into what they were today.

As they progressed along their path the soldiers became less, their uniforms changing to grey and then to red and purple. It was obvious that they had left the white cannon fodder behind and were now gazing at the elite. The ones Rey didn’t want to encounter ever. That at least was her thought when she starred at two men fighting each other with long slivery blades. They deadly gleam of the steel was clear in the afternoon sun, the slashes in the air and the impact of iron against iron rang loudly in the air. The men fought for minutes, their strikes wickedly fast and deliberate. Reys blood started to freeze while she watched them. She breathed in the cold her and slung her cowl closer around her.

Hux, too, watched gleefully, while speaking proudly of his soldiers. Then he pulled her along, his hand resting on the small of her back as to guide her. Rey shivered. He was touching her, his pale skin burning through the thin material of her bodice.

The force inside of her bristled, the light raising and falling like waves and she knew that in this moment she held enough power to kill Hux just with a mere thought.

She soothed her anger and her light returned to its silent state, just a small flame.

Then suddenly they entered another part of the training grounds. There were only men and few of them and they were all clad in black. Instantly, she felt the air shift, the power crackle and sweep across the grounds. Her own light flickered with it. Determent, she suppressed it.

“And those are the Knight of Ren, not part of my army per se as they are their own division.” The disdain was clear in Hux’ voice.

Rey watched as two men in black fought each other, their movements rapid but precise, she felt how they used the force to fight better, faster and deadlier. No normal being could ever live up to this.

Her gaze swept over the perimeters when they finally landed on a tall man, his shoulders broad and the muscles of his upper body visible even through the dark leather he wore. His eyes were devoid of any emotion as he watched his men fight, his gaze following their every movement. He seemed so imposing, even from this distance and Reys heart fluttered at that sight and with it her inner light burst out as if it was trying to reach for Kylo Ren himself. She instantly quenched its fire but not before Kylos gaze snapped up, his eyes suddenly not cold and even bored anymore but heated and intense. His men long forgotten, he stared at her, pinning her down with his gaze. Then he zeroed in on Hux or more preciously at Hux’ hand that was still on her back and which had even slid down further. It made her tremendously uncomfortable but it seemed to please Hux and a pleased Hux wouldn’t think of suspecting her of anything.

But Kylo glared at the hand on her back with such anger and hate that it made her shiver. She watched as he suddenly started to move and with impossible elegance, especially for a man his size, he stalked over to them, his eyes dark and brooding, his muscles tense and his fingers curled into fists as his side.

Hux watched as the man neared them and Rey could feel his slight fright in the tremor that went through his body. Even Hux, someone who was surprisingly insensitive to the force, was able to feel the air being ripped apart by the sheer ferocity of Kylos gaze. His dark, inner force was rolling off of him in dark waves and he closed in on them Rey was hit by his power and it made her gasp for air.

With all her might she kept her flame down that was stretching it wings trying to raise and meet Kylo.

“General” His voice was deep and strained, his gaze flicking back to Hux’ hand on her back. Rey saw a small twitch of his eyes. Hux next to her went rigid and grinned back but it didn’t reach his eyes.  
“Ren, fancy seeing you here. You shouldn’t have bothered to leave your post, I was just showing the lady Rynalda around” Rey did not miss the usage of her first name. Hux was clearly trying to bring the message across that they somehow had bonded and were on first name basis now. It did, however, have the desired effect, as a scowl slipped onto Ren features. He eyed the pale hand again that was pressing into Rey and still made her uncomfortable but she didn’t protest. The way the Master Ren looked at her made her heart flatter and her body flush with desire at what his dark gaze promised. The cold burn of Hux’ hand was like an anchor in the wild storm of emotion, keeping her grounded, it kept her focus from being solely on Ren and his dark curls and eyes. he watched her just as intently.  
“It is no inconvenience, I will personally show you around the training grounds of the Knights. After all an accident could happen and you could lose your pretty, little head, Hux” Ren smirked with a cruel detachment.

What had Rey got herself into? This was quite intriguing but it felt like they both were at the brink of exploding and anything could set them off at any moment. Hux nodded stiffly still no releasing her.

“Your Knights, Master Ren, are quite impressive.”  
Kylo Ren looked at her with a soft edge in his eyes as she spoke and he smiled without emotion. “Please, call me Kylo, my lady.”  
Rey nodded, she wasn’t an expert in these things but was that even allowed to call someone by their first name? What was she supposed to do? Should she respond in kind? She didn’t want him to call her Rynalda, it wasn’t her name. If felt like an extra layer between them and it made her uncomfortable. What was wrong with her? But suddenly, she really wanted him to call her Rey.   
“Then you can call me Rynalda, after all I am not your Princess.” she answered her voice small and betraying her inner conflict. Ren looked at her like a predator might at its prey and he grinned. This time it reached his eyes and made him look so handsome that Reys heart gave a small squeeze.   
 He had strong features, high cheekbones but a strong nose and jaw. His lips were plush and glowing red, even more so due his pale skin. He was huge, taller than most men and definitely taller than she was and it made her excited for an unknown reason she wasn’t really ready to explore.

Hux long forgotten she stepped in his direction, the hand of the pompous man sliding finally down. Rens gaze went to the ginger and his dark brown eyes spoke of satisfaction. Satisfaction at having snatched her from the Generals hands. With a start she realised what this was. A piss off between to rivalling men who were fighting over her. And they weren’t fighting because she meant something to both of them but because they wanted to outrival the other one and she just happened to be caught in the middle of it.

Shame filled her. Oh, how naïve had she been, thinking that Ren might actually… but alas that obviously wasn’t the case.

Suddenly, she just wanted to leave and hide in her room. Maybe die from the embarrassment that took over her.

She turned back to the redhead. “Are you coming, General?”  
Ren gave a slight smirk at her use of his title and not his real name. Hux just wanted to respond when suddenly a woman, or at least Rey believed it was a woman, approached them. She was wearing gleaming armour, silver and polished off. She was nearly as tall Ren and that made Rey uneasy.   
“General, you are needed”   
Hux turned to the slightly muffled voice of the figure that was definitely female, now that Rey had heard her voice. His expression was irritated and with a snap he answer “Is it absolutely pressing, Captain? I am in the middle of something.”  
The woman only nodded, her stance telling that she was annoyed with the antics of her superior.   
“Don’t worry, Hux” Rens voiced dripped of satisfaction “I have it covered”

Hux’ face went crimson, obviously loathing that he had to leave. Thanking Hux for his time, Rey finally followed Ren who had already started to head off. His long strides were deliberate and surprisingly difficult to keep up with. He watched her as she hurried to catch up, his eyes trailing over her form and his eyes turning darker. His gaze stopped at her tight bodice and his throat moved as he just starred. Then he suddenly snapped his head into another direction and watched the men training…but was Rey wrong or was his breath coming up a little short?

Her mind wondered to the prostitutes and to all the men that had been consumed by their lust. That was what this was. She was just one of the many unmarried woman that were ripe and screaming to be pluck. However, she would rather die than to give herself to an undeserving creature that only wanted her for what was enclosed by the tight, red fabric.

“And what, Rynalda, were you doing on the training grounds? Didn’t get to snoop around enough yesterday?”  
His eyes glittered with joy but they also held a seriousness that made her uncomfortable.  
“I was not snooping. I needed the fresh air.”  
He just laughed, obviously not believing her.  
“I don’t know what you are thinking, _Master Ren_ ,” she said his name with deliberate force, her eyes cold. “But I ensure you that I just wanted to catch a few clean breath of air before retiring. After all I had just been ripped from my own family and thrust into a completely foreign life and land. I had felt tremendously uncomfortable in my room and just wanted to…” her breath hitched and she finally looked away from the man before her whose eyes had turned softer with remorse at her harsh words. Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes. What was wrong with her?  
“I am sorry, Princess, I didn’t want to offend you” his voice was deep and serious and Rey looked instinctively back at him. He seemed so sincere, it was maddening.  
“All forgiven” she whispered, although she still didn’t feel comfortable under his penetrating gaze.

He reached out to her as if he wanted to touch her face but let his gloved hand fall back to his side, his eyes looking undecided and were swimming with some emotion she couldn’t place.  
“Let us do something else, these training grounds are hardly a place for a lady like yourself.” He gestured for her to follow and without thinking she did.   
“What do you have on your mind?”  
“Have you had lunch yet?” he asked, as he smiled back at her.   
“No, I didn’t” she answered in all honesty. She would receive lunch, too? Wow.  
“Well, then I know what we are going to do”

He then proceeded to lead her inside the castle and through various corridors. At first Rey had known where they had been but with the fast movements she soon got lost and did decidedly not know where she was anymore.

Kylo, as he now was, slowed his steps for her and put his gloved hand upon the small of her back to guide her. The pressure he applied made Rey stumble over her own shoes and utterly forget who he was and who she was. She could just feel his hand burning through her dress and setting her aflame. It was as if his hand erased every last trace of Hux that had been there before and claimed this spot as its own.

She wondered, how it would feel if it were skin to skin?

Her cheeks flushed at that thought.

Finally they reached their destination. Before they stepped inside, Ren snapped orders a skittish looking man who was clearly a servant. He seemed to be horror-stricken that Kylo Ren was talking to him. His face had gone pale, even bordering on green as he bowed many times, stuttering incoherently. His gaze strayed to Rey, his eyes going wide with shock. Kylo watched the servant with an unforgiving gaze and as the man caught the ruthless stare he got even paler than he had already been. Without another word he scurried off.

The room they entered, had a high sealing, the opposite wall was almost completely made out of glass. The blinding evening sun streamed into the room and illuminated it.   
All the furniture seemed to be made out of an especially dark wood, everything bordered on black. Rey wondered where they were. Everything was held simple and without too much grandeur. And it smelled divine. A dark scent lay heavy in the air and it made her lightheaded and reminded her of…

“Where are we?” she asked as she watched Kylo remove his cowl and reveal his clothes underneath. He was wearing a, naturally black, undershirt and dark pants that were made out of leather. They gave him an aura of danger and cruelness but at the glee and softness in his eyes, Rey didn’t bring herself to be afraid.  
“We are in my private dining room” he spoke nonchalantly like it wasn’t a big deal. But by the worried glance he threw her, she was sure that he was maybe a little bit afraid of her reaction. It was probably not so accepted for her to be here but she found that she didn’t care.

“Well your room is beautiful, Kylo” his name rolled off of her tongue and she heard as he shifted behind her. She had faced the windows and was gazing outside.

She could just feel his gaze upon her back, tracing the lines of her bodice and as his eyes glided down her slim form. She shivered. Maybe, this hadn’t been such a great idea. She tried to hold onto her feeling of being crushed when she had realised this was all because of the rivalry between Hux and Ren. But she just couldn’t hold onto it as Ren stepped up next to her and he fixed her with his stare.  
“Thank you my lady, as are you” His complement didn’t seem hollow like they usually did but as if he truly meant it.   
 Only their quiet breathing was audible in the room as the kept staring at each other. Rey could see lighter specks of gold within his eyes. They were beautiful. He was beautiful.

“Rynalda…” he spoke again but her instincts got the better of her.  
“Rey” she said, instantly regretting it. “It is the name my friends used to call me back at home”  
“Of course” he whispered “Rey…”

The door opened and his eyes closed off, all softness gone within a blink. He righted himself as he had been leaning over her and dwarfing her with his huge body. The man that had entered was trembling and when he caught Kylos stare he damn near dropped the tray he was balancing in his hand. He looked terrified.  
“Ma-ster R-Ren, I-I… am so… sorry to interrupt…” still shaking he placed the tray on the dark table and hurried as fast as he could out of the room.   
“Shall we?” Rens voice was strained, his power crackling around him. She could feel his mind swirl with emotions but she quickly pulled her power back that slowly had crept up on her. It was burning inside of her to get out and envelope the man in front of her.  
 Rey only nodded but then her eyes fell on a tall bookshelf that she had failed to notice until now as it nearly fading in with its background.  
Her eyes widening with barely suppressed excitement, she rushed over to the shelf and put her trembling finger upon the dark covers that seemed to be made out of the finest materials like leather and iron. She was so entranced by the masses of books, more than she had ever seen, that she didn’t notice when Kylo stepped up behind her. He was so close and as he reached higher than she ever cold, he plucked a random book and flicked it open. His eyes, however, were burning on her back, his other hand ghosted over her bare shoulder and down her arms. His touch like a feather but it left a scorching trail. Rey wanted to burst, it sent tremors through her body as he kept going up and down as if he wasn’t really aware of what he was doing. This was so wrong and he had definitely overstepped but she didn’t want him to ever stop. Just keep touching her for ever.  
 It was as if he were reading the letters in the book and only absentmindedly touching her in such an intimate manner that it made Rey damn near come undone. His breath fanned over her neck and through her hair and nearly delirious with his touch she leaned back slightly and finally… finally they were touching, she needed it and it was more even if it wasn’t enough. She heard Rens breath leave his lungs in a rush and his grip on the book turned harder, his knuckles turning white with the effort. His ministrations of her arm faltered just to pick up again with new found reverence.  
 She could feel his chest heaving, he was so huge. She felt so small in his embrace and not caged in as she should have. She felt his heat seep through her clothes and she shivered again, her eyes closing. She was helpless, she had never felt like this before. She felt as Ren pushed harder against her and she let out small moan that sounded needy and so utterly unlike her that she wondered if he maybe had tinkered with her mind. But as he was burning into her skin, his touch engraving itself, all other thoughts were driven out of her mind. She shouldn’t give herself so willingly, she shouldn’t hand over control but he was so much… and it felt so good. Every fragment of her was hyper aware and she felt every part of herself that was touching him.  
 The little sound, breathy, absolutely embarrassing, not that she cared in that moment, and barely audible, escaped her but it seemed to set something of in Ren. It was as if she heard his control snap, the air shifted, his power was decidedly rolling off of him but not in the angry way like before. It was reeling and stretching around her, like he wanted to swallow her, like he desperately wanted her to stay, was ready to use force to keep her here and to keep anyone for getting to her. It was sweeping over her mind and body, making her tingle and Rey bit into her lower lip as to not gasp again.  
 With a rapid movement Ren turned her around, the book that he had been holding in his hands forgotten and dropping to the ground with a loud thud. His eyes were full of dark desire and they had a crazy gleam to them as if he would do anything she wanted at this moment. He leaned over her, his nostrils flaring, pupils dilated and impossible dark. What had happened? Everything had gone so impossible fast. This could hardly be proper. She drank in his gaze that was filled with desire.  
“Rey…” he rasped out, his voice even lower than it usually was. Dark tendrils of his power were sweeping over her as if they were searching, his eyes were so full of hope and desperation. It shattered her heart when she saw the man that was behind Kylo Ren. He was just as alone as she was and he had felt it… Their inner forces springing to life when they were near each other. Her light flickered desperately but she held it back with all her might, her body suddenly flushed with panic. His power was pressing into her and it was bordering on painful as she kept her shield up and resisted. But he looked at her bewildered and he was so much more powerful than she was and he pressed even more. With a cry she suddenly fell to the ground before her, the pressing force around her gone in an instant. He had broken through and she knew that he had felt her desire, her eagerness but also her hesitation. He had tasted her own loneliness. But he had taken it without asking, he had ripped it from her.

She had been so stupid as to believe that he would be any different from all those vile men she had seen on the streets. Those who wouldn’t stop at rape to get what they wanted. Fear flooded her even as Ren reached for her. His fingers were trembling, his mouth slightly open, unsaid words on the tip of his tongue. His eyes were filled with remorse and shame, shame at himself. Rey could feel the air around him pulsing with self-loathing and it made her lightheaded. She had to get out of here.

His hesitating hand landed on her shoulder but she jerked back from his burning touch. He retrieved his hand but his gaze was pained and so unbelievably lost, it hurt her to edge away from him. It was as if her inner being was screaming at her to run back to him and never leave. But she had to.

Without saying anything she just left, not even looking back to check whether he was following her. She didn’t know where she was but she just hurried along the corridors, he steps bouncing from the walls back at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will probably be from his point of view! I hope I wont mess it up... Hope you enjoyed it so far!


	6. getting back on track

He watched her run out of the door, flee to be precise, flee from him, because he had been so utterly foolish, he had ruined it, hadn’t he? Her red dress, so tight and enticing as it hugged her lithe form perfectly, slipped out of the exit and the door shut with a bang. What had he done? Oh goodness, what had he done?  
He was utterly useless, wasn’t he? The mighty Kylo Ren, more powerful than any other that walked the surface of the earth, had screwed everything up by not being able to control himself.  
He stalked over to the tray on the table and stared at the many foods he had ordered to be prepared only for her. He had wanted her to enjoy their time together and hadn’t known what she preferred to eat so he had gotten more than the both of them could ever consume in one sitting.

Clenching his jaw, he grabbed one of the plates, it was fragile and white, and with an angry surge of power he threw the piece against the far wall. The noise as it shattered gave him some satisfaction and he let out a scream of anguish which he muffled with his arm lest anybody hear him and would come to investigate. Then again, nobody would dare to come through that door unannounced.

She was so beautiful. He had noticed her instantly one her first day in the castle, when he had arrived late to the dinner. He remembered that he hadn’t wanted to go there, the people didn’t interest him, they were all like a grey mass of faces, their eyes full of greed and dull like fishes that swam around a pond and didn’t see beyond. Snoke had captured them all and fed them crumbs to keep them satisfied and happy. They were all so limited in their thinking and he didn’t want to have anything to do with them. He had always been alone, a true loner by heart, Snoke, as his mentor, wasn’t something he would exactly call a friend, he was his master and a cruel one at that, he would never go to Snoke to confined in him. With the Supreme Master the less emotion you showed the better as he would exploit any weakness you showed. One of the many reasons Ren had never sought the companionship of a woman and had never tried to court one. They would be unnecessary attachment, a weakness. Besides, he had never met one that what even remotely lived up to his greatness, not to be vain or anything. That was until a day ago.

He had entered the dining room and instantly his whole world had shifted as he felt it. It was like a blinding light that called to him, like a siren did to a lost sailor and just as irresistible as the sweet song that made any man cave to its power and just as utterly life altering.   
It felt like until that moment he had lived in eternal darkness and agony but then he finally saw light as it sprang to life to meet his power. It was like a flash in his darkness, a flame of hope and a promise of companionship and… maybe even love and it blazed over his sky which was ever dark. His eyes squeezed shut as pain washed through his body.

Then he had found the source of these feelings, of the light, and he had looked upon the most beautiful set of hazel eyes he had ever met. In their depth he could spot the well of power and untouched beauty he had felt just moments before as a signature in the force. But he could also see panic and the power that had winded itself around his heart and had been oh so soothing, receded, ebbed away until she wasn’t a blinding light in the night anymore, his guiding light, but nothing more than all the other unworthy creatures. He had been so angry in that moment, he had felt robbed like someone had ripped his most precious possession from him.

She had retreated from him, he realised. So quickly that he even doubted if it had been real, if it only had been a fabrication of his tortured mind. It wasn’t. His shattered heart could never conjure up such goodness, so pure and bright.

He watched throughout the meal as she had sat at the table, barely conversing with the people around her. Alone at a full table. His heart squeezed in sympathy. Oh, he knew the feeling, was experiencing it all the time, it was his life. But it shouldn’t be her life, she deserved everything. It deserved someone better than him. Not some broken killer, someone who wouldn’t even stop at hurting her in his want to feel the light again. So selfish. He had treated her like he did prisoners, had tried to rip the flame from her just to thrive in its light again. He craved it, craved her. It had made him do foolish things.

Now that he tasted it, he never wanted to let it go, never wanted her to go and leave him alone again.

He didn’t know what had happed that fateful night, why her force, her inner light, had felt like the perfect match for his but he knew that now nothing would be the same again.

Whether she intentionally hid her powers from him or if she didn’t know what she held in her heart, he didn’t know, but he wanted to find out. Maybe even teach her. Who knew.

He hoped, oh he begged the heavens above, that nobody else had felt her, had seen her power. She wouldn’t be safe, not here at the castle. Years he had spent going from village to city to snoop out the dark power, the force and those how wielded it. They were either dead or at the castle now. No in between.

But Snoke, his master for such a long time, the only one in his miserable life, had made one big mistake, actually two big mistakes. In his overconfidence he had never stopped to consider that the force wasn’t an exclusive male thing, that women, too, shared it. So he would never look for it in Rey lest she walked around blazing like a torch. That was at least one advantage he had.  
The second one was in contrast to previously thought, the force was not a dark, powerful cloud that curled around all living things, no, it could also be a bright light bringing life to everything and everyone.

A light that he craved. He wondered if this was why he had been given this power. So that he could protect and shelter her and her light with all his might. But she was strong, wasn’t she? She had resisted him. Something not even his Knights could do. She wasn’t a flickering flame, no she was a raging inferno and he wanted to let it consume him. Wanted to burn up and he would enjoy every last second of it.

He knew he had to pull her to his side, together they would be able to do anything, anything! He needed her and she him, that much was clear.

Suddenly power, being the king and being respected didn’t seem as tempting as it once did. He’d rather spend his days and nights with her, look upon her smiling face, maybe it be even directed at him, and feel her hot skin under him. How could his world have changed so fast within a few hours? He’d rather have her for himself and get her away from all the dangers that lurked in the dark than rule over the whole country. He would throw it away without looking back.

But if she wasn’t ready, then he wouldn’t. He would court her, if she preferred that, surly he had just overwhelmed her. He wasn’t sure if he could face it if he had chased her away for good.

The roses had been a good start but they wouldn’t be enough. He hadn’t made sure that she knew they came from him, he had been too… well shy wasn’t the right way to put it… maybe he was just a little eccentric and liked the dramatics of it… for her to know he had sent them. He wanted her to wonder. Besides it was a weakness to which he would rather not admit to.

He did have the means to properly court her though so he would try. He would woo her damn good. That was the least she deserved. If she wanted the country, he would lay it down at her feet, if she wanted jewels, he would get them all.   
 It was like he was caught in a feverish dream, just wanting her no matter what it cost him. Her and the light, his light. It was his, he supposed, made to complete him just as he would surly complete her. His power to meet hers. They would be unlimited power when united.

The most important thing was still that Snoke wouldn’t find her, that the white and grey monster wouldn’t know what power lived next to him. Surly his master would try to pull her to his side and when she wouldn’t come, he would surly eliminate her. A very disturbing thought.

Kylo glanced outside and watched the trees as they swayed in the wind. Anger flowed through his blood and made his head ache. Power thrummed under his skin. Making his decision he grabbed his cloak and was out of his room in an instant.

His knights were still training when he joined them. They glanced at him because they surly felt how the force was rolling off of him in violent waves. Most of the brave men looked away, fright in their eyes. They all respected him, their master.

He watched them train and left it at that, even if wanted nothing more than to feel blood under his knuckles, to use the force to choke life out of a body.

*

Rey closed the wooden door behind herself, finally back in her room, enclosed by four walls. The false feeling of security that came with being alone settled over her, enveloping her like a warm blanket and begging her to let her guard down. She was just so exhausted. Her meeting, if one could even call it that, with Kylo Ren, the mysterious man whose dark eyes had burned themselves into her mind, had unsettled her more than she would like to admit.

She let her gaze sweep over her room, her fingers touching the soft fabric of her bed sheets. Never should she have gotten involved with that brooding man, he was trouble. He was Snokes lapdog, nothing more than a puppet. Should he ever find any of her secrets, no matter whether her secret ability or her alliances with the Resistance, he would surly drag her to Snokes throne. He wouldn’t hesitate to plunge a sword into her and take her life if it was required of him. He would never, and Rey kept repeating this to herself as she walked over to her bathroom, would never be her friend, he was the enemy, the epitome of what she sought to destroy. However, Rey could not squish the little flicker of hope in her heart when she thought of the tall man with his raven black hair and those deep, chocolate brown eyes. She was a stupid girl, so stupid.

She wasn’t in this castle to make friends or to fall into any beds of men that were the true scum of this world. No, she was here to gather information, to be the inside man, or woman in this case, that the Resistance needed to tip things in their favour.

She was supposed to know things, even if she didn’t know what things, yet, or how she would get the Intel but she would succeed. She had to.

Rey was sure that something abnormal was going on behind the walls of the castle, she could feel it in her bones, could sense it in the air. And it had something to do with her own secret. She also knew that Kylo Ren was part of this secret, he and his fellow knights. How did they call themselves? The Knights of Ren, very originally. She had the strong suspicion that they, too, had the ability to form this force that seemed to surround them all, scratch that, she was certain of it. There had always been rumours going around the city, whispers that carried with the wind, that Snoke was not from this world, that he was somehow different. Rey was sure that he was human, even if a an evil one, she was sure that he hadn’t made a pact with the devil to gain these powers, it was merely a coincidence or the will of the world if one wanted to be superstitious. After all Rey couldn’t remember making any deals with anyone to receive this gift or curse, whatever one wanted to call it.

Before she got too exited that she had finally found something worth reporting back to the Resistance, she tried to stay calm. She didn’t have any proof but there had to be something in this castle.

Reys eyes fell on one of her books that lay on her nightstand that were visible through the open bathroom door. With her new found ability to read, Rey had gladly gone through all the books she could find. Maybe the royal library held more information, she had already once wanted to ask C-3PO about it but had never come around to it.

At dinner, she decided, she would make acquires. Snoke would probably not hide his well-kept secret in plain sight in a library that anyone could access. Then again, the man was probably drunk on his power which was bound to make him careless. Maybe he had a private library but the question was, how would Rey ever be able to gain access to it?

Kylo Ren flashed before her inner eye. He would surly know everything about that. As if he would share anything with her. No, she was on her own but she had a few advantages.

To everyone in this castle she was just a spoiled princess and nobody would expect of her to be searching for anything of importance. Then, she was a woman, something that was even less associated with danger. And at last, she always had her secret and if she used it with care, then it would really help her.

Rey gazed at herself in the big mirror that was located in the bathroom. The distress that had been evident in her face was slowly fading.

Steeling herself, Rey exited her bathroom again and strode through her bedroom, too before entering the halls beyond her door again. No guard stood there. They didn’t think she was important enough to be watched and Rey was not about to give them any reason to consider her anything else than a stupid woman with no brain.

She walked noisily over the stone floor, her heels clicking in a steady rhythm. The walls were partly free of any art or tapestry and Rey was able to gaze upon the bare stonewall that was starring bleakly back at her. Some parts on the other hand were so thoroughly plastered with portraits and paintings that they seemed to come alive with colour and life.

Reys destination was one of the bigger drawing rooms that the castle housed. As she had heard, drawing rooms were the best place to meet people, to talk and gossip and to drink tea. She could use some warm tea right now. Besides, that was exactly what she was here for. Talking and finding stuff out.

The drawing room she chose for this day was, to put it lightly, beautiful. It was a long room with a big fireplace where flames crackled and gave off warmth and light. Small tables and chairs were scattered around the room in a seemingly random way but still not carelessly.

To Reys joy, many women and some men were seated and were idly chatting along. The room was full of voices and laughter. The smell of warm tea and something sweet clung in the air. She let her gaze sweep the room and look at all the faces.

Suddenly somebody stood beside her. She gazed at the tall man with brown, tan skin. He wore an elaborate cloak, it was long and of a wonderfully light colour. Like the sky on a beautiful summer day. He smiled at her and bowed a little, all the while not breaking eye contact. Which, Rey was sure of it, was not how you were supposed to bow. She herself curtsied but didn’t waste too much thought on how far she had to go. She didn’t even know who the man before her was and what title he carried.

“Lando Calrissian, my fair lady, may I ask who you are. I haven’t seen you before, to be honest, so you must have arrived during the last days.”, the man said with a disarming grin. Ray smiled back.   
“Yes, I have only just arrived, I am Rynalda Antilles, Princess of Jakku but you may call me Rey, it is shorter and easier to remember.”

Lando chuckled and smiled at her again, obviously taking a liking to her. But then again, royals could be wicked and Rey never too sure what they wanted from her.

“Then you may call me Lando. Will you join me and my friends for a cup of tea?”

Gratefully, Rey accepted and was led to one of the small tables where a bunch of people were seated. Many new faces stared back at her as Lando introduced her.

The woman Rey had sat next to during dinner was also there. Her face was just as passive and unopen as she remembered. Her Make-up was just as over the top and outrages. The same went for the dress the woman wore. It clung to her body in an obscene way but that didn’t seem to bother her one bit. She stared at Rey as if to challenge her to say something. The woman didn’t know that Rey, who at the very moment looked like a proper princess that has never seen more than her castles walls, had in fact seen the deepest holes of humanity and the dirtiest grim that walked the earth. The woman with her tight dress could hardly be described as noteworthy when it came to the many pleasure houses that littered the edge of every city. So Reys gaze remained friendly but unimpressed.

Lando smiled at her. She smiled back.

“So tell us, Rey, how is the land of Jakku. Surly most beautiful.”, Lando put the rim of his cup to his pinkish lips and took a sip.   
“Hardly” Rey answered and took the cup that had been poured for her. “It is quite dry and hot, I find the lushness of this city and land refreshing and much better.”

People around her nodded, she had probably voiced exactly what everybody was thinking but would never say in her presence. She didn’t care at all, after all it wasn’t really her country so no hard feelings.

A woman with red hair and deep green eyes suddenly leaned over the table and looked at Rey with a small smile. Her emerald eyes shone with mischief.

“I have heard the rumour that you may have caught the eyes of a certain Kylo Ren. Tell me, is it true?”

If Rey had actually been sipping her tea and not only staring at the dark fluid that stood in stark contrast with the white porcelain, she would surly have spit it out again. What a forward and highly inappropriate question. But the whole table turned in her direction and gazed at her with barley veiled interest.

“Where”, Rey answered, desperately trying not to show her discomfort but at the same time excitement over that question, “have you heard such nonsense?”

The woman leaned back, but didn’t seem persuaded that Rey was being honest. Her eyes still had a spark in them.

“You know how it is, darling”, she made a dismissive gesture with her hand. “One hears things”

As if that explained anything.

“Some say”, the woman continued glancing at the woman in black with her tight dress, “you have achieved something, others have been trying for years.”

Suddenly a loud crash was heard. The woman with strange and over the board make-up had stood in one sudden motion. Her jaw was clenched. Her tea had spilled across the table, the white cloth that had been draped across it was stained now. Ruined for ever. The dark brown colour slowly soaking through the thin material. A second went by where no one said anything. Some looked shocked at that outburst. Then the woman turned, her blond hair flicking with her fast movement and strode out of the room.

The woman with the green eyes and red hair was the first to break the silence that had descended upon the group. She sighed and started to put napkins upon the stain. Quite unnecessarily as Rey found, the harm was done, there really wasn’t any way to undo it.

“Bazine”, she said “is a very eccentric woman”

So her name was Bazine. Rey filed the information away.

“She has been trying to go after your knight for some time now.”

Another silence seemed to weigh heavy over the group but this time Rey thought that she was missing something. Surly those worried gazes that fell upon the red-haired woman weren’t because she had gossiped so blatantly. That could not be unusual. Something was amiss.

“Well he isn’t my knight. So Miss Bazine is welcome to go after him as much as she wants to.”, Rey said, her tone a bit frostier than intended.

The conversation resumed after this, nobody daring to ask again or to speak of Bazine. Rey found that she quite liked the rest  of the group. Especially Lando and the red-haired woman whose name was Mary and who was from the north-west. At some point she leaned to Mary and engaged the woman in a conversation about books, the real reason ahy Rey was trying to socialize.

“Yes, I love to read, it is one of my favourite past-times”, Rey said while nibbling on some kind of pastry. “But my collection that I was able to bring along was ridiculously small…”  
“Oh, don’t worry, the castle has a fantastic library. Bigger than any other, I have ever seen.”, Mary answered with small smile. “Unfortunately, our society seems to have lost the appreciation for literature. The library is only rarely used.”  
“And am I allowed to just walk in and read?”  
Mary nodded. “Of course, darling, you can even take books back to your room. As I said, not many use the library, they’d rather spend their time gossiping and drinking tea… Snoke isn’t really concerned that anybody will steal his books so his reign over them is quite free.”  
That was the opening Rey has been waiting for.   
“Oh, but an Emperor as grand as he is, surly has his own private collection that holds the most valuable ones”

Mary glanced at Rey and smiled a secretive smile.

“You truly a clever one, my dear.”, she leaned in again “Snoke and Kylo have their own libraries, the main one only holds trivial literature. Enough for us peasants, so romances, stories, fairy tales and novels but nothing of importance. Also no history books.”

Rey tried to supress her grin. She had to see those libraries but she had asked enough question for the time, otherwise the woman would become suspicious. Nodding politely, Rey changed the topic to more light topics. At the next possible opportunity, she excused herself, saying that she still wanted to get ready before dinner.

*

“Have you already found anything?”, Rose asked in a quiet tone while painting Reys lips a darker shade. Rey shook her head, her small ringlets bouncing.   
“Not really, they hide their secrets well. But I have made progress. Kylo Ren and Snoke have their own private libraries that hold books which are not meant for the public. I intend to one day take a look at those.”  
Rose nodded. “I haven’t come across anything note-worthy yet too. At the end of the week we have to report back to the General, we have a man that can get small messages in and out.”  
“I have to wait till the royals trust me more, then I have more access.”, that was the last that was said about this topic. Because in that very moment, another maid entered the room, bringing a few gowns that Rose had apparently requested without Rey knowing. When the girl had finally exited the room again, Rey spoke anew.

“I will visit the library before dinner; even if I am pretty sure nothing will come from it but it is worth a try.”

Rose only nodded and took a step back to take a good look at her work. She seemed satisfied. The gown of the evening was another flashy colour. Rose explained that Jakku royalty wore lots of colours because the populous chose only sand coloured clothes because of the sweltering heat. The royals always had to separate themselves from the rest.

So Rey walked along the already dimly lit corridors with her heels clicking and her bright purple dress swishing. Earlier she had asked C-3PO where the library was located and he had graciously shown her.

The library had really taken her breath away. A massive room, filled with golden and wooden ornaments, shelves and shelves filled with books of all sizes, their spines glinting in the shine of candles. All this information in one place, it was a true treasure. Thousands of lives and millions of experiences that Rey would never life through were filed away in this room and at her disposal. 

Rey took a deep breath as she stood in the middle of the quiet room again. The high windows faced east, so the light was long gone and only came from the many candles that flickered slowly and made the shadows dance. The smell of wax and books lay on the air and made Rey close her eyes to savour it. She walked along the shelves and let her hand brush the many spines. Most of the books were so high up that she would never be able to reach them. Somewhere she spotted a movable ladder. This information she, too, stored away. Rey was so deeply fascinated by the many books that she didn’t notice that she was in fact not alone. No other than Kylo Ren sat at one of the many tables with a book in front of him. When he heard the clicking of heels he had looked for its source, a bit angered because he wanted to be alone. But then he had seen that it was the Princess who had apparently changed as she was now dressed in a bright, purple dress. He watched her walk along the shelves, gazing at the books with adoration. He grinned. But then Reys gaze swept through the room and landed on him. Her whole body gave a startled jerk, her eyes going wide. Her hand dropped and mouth opened. It was utterly quiet in the grand room.

“Master Ren”, Rey finally chocked out.   
“I insist you call me Kylo, Princess, after all, I have taken to calling you Rey.”  
Rey wanted to say something but didn’t know what. Because he was right, he mostly called her Rey even if she never told him to.  
“Well, Kylo, a coincidence seeing you here.”  
Kylo nodded, closing the book in front of him. “Yes, quite a coincidence. Sit, will you Rey.”  
Rey sat. Her whole body was on alert. _Because you have to keep him out of your mind,_ Rey kept telling herself but her fizzling nerve-ends weren’t listening to reason. They felt as alive as they never had and it was all due to the man in front of her.  
“What brings you here?”, Rey asked, looking at the room again to avoid his gaze. Kylo didn’t even acknowledge her question.  
“Rey”, he said her name quietly but with a strange firmness. She looked at him, couldn’t not look at him, his dark brown eyes earnest. “I ought to apologize for today. I was out of line, I am deeply sorry.”  
Rey straightened, remembering but somehow she couldn’t be angry at him.  
“As a peace offering I’d like to host you again for a small lunch tomorrow.”, Kylo said as his mouth formed a little grin.   
Rey looked at him, her gaze sweeping over his long face, his skin was alabaster as if it had never seen the sun before and dotted with beauty marks. His lips were full and a deep shade of red. Their mere sight had Rey looking away again. She should really lose concentration like this but Kylos deep gaze rested upon her, waiting for her decision and Rey could see the hope in his eyes but at the same time the quiet fear that she would decline. She nodded, barley but she did. Kylo leaned back. He had come closer. When had he come closer? Rey leaned back. She, too, had been closer than thought. What was wrong with her? She tried to remember herself, tried to remember her mission even if thinking about that was not the best idea in the presence of this man.  
“I expect you at twelve”, Kylo said, all tenderness gone, replaced with firmness and arrogance. Rey nearly changed her mind just to spite him. It irked her that he thought he had her cracked and pliant.  
“Regarding you former question, I am here to read, obviously.”, he grinned arrogantly as if she was stupid to even ask such a question.  
“I would never have guessed”, Rey laughed lightly, “But what has caught your interest?”, she said as she peered at the book that lay in front of Kylo. His hand was upon the cover and made the title unreadable.   
“Nothing of consequence. Just a novel. Even I can enjoy a good piece of literature.” He grinned again.  
“I’m sure” Rey laughed “You are probably reading some pink romance and just don’t want me to know your guilty pleasure. The all-mighty master Ren reading of helpless maidens that get rescued by their knight in shining armour.”  
Ren grinned. “Well, romances have their advantages. They give insight to the female psychic like nothing else.”  
Rey laughed “Well, not every woman wants to be rescued.”  
Kylo nodded as if he really was thinking about it. “Don’t you think it is everybody’s wish in the end to be rescued? Regardless of gender.”, he said, his gaze untrusting. “Don’t you think we all just want to put all responsibility to someone else and let them handle it?”, he looked at the woman in front of him as she mulled it over. Somehow, Kylo saw the pure curiosity about the question he had posed shining in her eyes. It seemed as if had never thought about philosophy, as if she never had read any of the great works about human nature and morality. But as a royal she ought to, didn’t she?  
“I guess you are right but most of us don’t have that much luck and sometimes, what comes with being rescued outweighs the relief of not being responsible anymore.”, Rey answered her voice bitter. Kylo narrowed his gaze.   
“What ever shall come with a rescue, Princess?”, he asked, seemingly honestly confused. Rey took a deep breath. Of course someone like Kylo Ren wouldn’t understand that a rescue was sometimes worse than the earlier predicament. He never had to give up his sovereignty, to be slave to the one that was supposed to be your rescuer. Rey thought of Plutt, the one who was supposed to be her grand saviour, who had picked her from the streets and had given her a home, food and shelter. She had run away, rather facing death than stay with that man any longer and be his slave.  
“Everything comes with a price, and the rescuer expects gratitude and servitude. In one way or another, the one who had been rescued goes from one bad situation to another. The question that remains is which predicament is worse. I would rather die than be the slave of my rescuer.”, Rey said with finality that bounced off the library walls. Kylo seemed somewhat shocked to have heard such earnest words from such a fine lady who should never have witnessed anything akin to what had leaked through her well-chosen words. _What,_ Kylo wondered, _had happened to this woman?_   
“Those are some resolute words from a lady that has spent most of her life in a castle. Do you even know of what you are talking off?”, Kylo asked just to probe her. Rey seemed to hide more than he could fathom behind her fine smile and kind eyes. Those hazel irises seemed nearly black in the dim light and stared at him as if she could see straight through him and as if she could look at his very soul.  
“One can always imagine”, Rey answered in a way that suggested that she, in fact, didn’t have to imagine. “I think”, she continued, as the deep gaze of the man in front of her was becoming too much to handle. Her whole body seemed to be alive and hot. The air was thick with tension. Couldn’t someone open the window?  
“I think, we ought to attend dinner, we wouldn’t want to miss it or risk the wrath of our lord.”, Rey said just as she realized what she had been talking about. Not only Plutt but all of the royals, Snoke included and in the end also the General. They were the saviour of the peasants. Her saviour. And in return they wanted everything. Something she wasn’t open to giving, she never wanted to be saved, not by Snoke, not by the General and not by Kylo. The latter did feel like a lie but Rey stored the feeling away to never be looked again. Kylo looked at her for a second longer, maybe seeing her own revelation behind her own gaze, and then finally stood, offering her his arm.  
“You are right, we can always continue tomorrow.”  
That, somehow, didn’t sound like a promise but more like a threat. Rey only nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait, I finished school (finally) and am off to university now, I'll start tomorrow...


End file.
